Thursday, June 4, 2015

Antelope Canyon

Tuesday - June 2, 2015

This felt like a long, long, long day.  But in reality, we were done by like, 4 pm.  My body thought it was 11 pm, but that's because I'm a totally out of shape old lady. Because it felt like the longest day ever, I have five gazillion million photos.  Combined, we literally took about 1,000 photos.  Now, this is because in a lot of the places inside the canyon the lighting wasn't great and any amount of movement meant a blurry photo so I just kept taking a bunch of photos figuring there's gotta be one decent one in there (which isn't always true, a lot of times I ended up with 9 blurry photos of the same thing - sob!) so that's why we ended with a whole bunch of photos.  Just loading them onto my laptop about gave me an aneurysm, so I ended up randomly picking some (hopefully these aren't blurry) to share with the world.  The world being my mom (hi mom!).  

We were up by 8 because my Bendi woke us up by barking.  I really think he was just trying to wake us up because he wanted someone to play with. He'd already climbed into my bed and licked my face and pounced on my chest, but I just rolled over.  When he couldn't wake anyone up by by licking, he resorted to barking.  Stupid Bendi.  Alas, it was a good thing because breakfast is over at 9, so him barking meant I was able to indulge in free waffles, coffee, and cheesy eggs.  That's never a bad thing, right?  The free breakfast @ Days Inn was pretty good.  It's never going to be super awesome, but they had enough hot options (biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, cheese omelets and ham) as well as waffles, various breads and spreads, and hot oatmeal for it to be a good filling breakfast.  It's not gourmet, but it's free.  FREE.  






Our appointment for Upper Canyon was for noon, which is supposed to be the best time to go because it's when the sun is overhead so if the weather cooperates, you get the awesome sunbeams Upper Antelope Canyon is known for.  It's always crazy crowded, but if we were going to come ALL the way here from So Cal (518 miles away!) we were damn well going to see the canyon at its best.  Or so we hope.  We went with Antelope Canyon Navajo Tours because well...they were advertising it.  Also, it seems like they've got the entire market for Upper Canyon cornered, and I figure as long as we get in there, it didn't really matter.  Our email confirmation told us to arrive an hour before the tour, so we left our room at 10:40 am and got there at 11 for our 12 pm tour.  Uh, that was stupid.  Because a load of people kept streaming in all the way up to the noon hour and THEY all got to go on the noon tour too.  So it appears on a random Tuesday in June, they weren't selling out, and we didn't have to book ahead and wait there for an hour.  The only bright side?  We got there so early we got one of the few seats in the shade, and all the other people had to stand around in the sun.  And Lordy, there were SO. MANY.  Chinese tourists.  Buses and buses of them.  I felt like I was in China.  




This was before it got crazy crowded.  It's probably around 11:15 am or so.  In another half hour, there were people ALL over the place, hanging over us behind us trying to squeeze into whatever shade they could find.
trucks waiting for people to bring to the canyon

So we wait.  And we wait.  And thank the good Lord we all have smartphones with 4G reception in the boonies because someone (dad) may have had a meltdown otherwise.  This someone hates to wait and throws a fit when it happens (dad).  But thankfully, we have a place to sit and we're in the shade, so it's not horrible.  Once the place is packed and it's past noon, they call ALL of us up and then separate us into all the different trucks by calling out the name of the person who booked the reservation and the number of people in the party.  There were probably about 100 people there (maybe more?) for the noon tour, and each truck held 12 people.  We were CRAMMED into the backs sitting knee to hip with random strangers we've never met before.  The ride over was about 10-15 minutes long and it was CRAZY ASS DUSTY.  My mom pressed a tissue up to her nose and mouth to help her breathe.  I tried that, but I could still the slight burn in my nose as the superfine dust still worked its way into my nose and lungs.  Our tour guide Shannon (she's a legacy, her grandmother was the one who discovered Antelope Canyon and her dad also currently works as a guide) said she developed bronchitis when she first started working there because of the dust.  That's not comforting.  But we finally get there.  Whew!  The trucks all park in lines and we all get out and walk towards the entrance of Upper Canyon.





There's one way in and out - and there are parts of the canyon that are very, very narrow, so it can be difficult when you have a group going in with another coming out and both of those groups trying desperately to snap as many photos as they can.  They try to time the entrances considering the massive amount of people there - so one tour group will enter while another waits a few minutes.  It's almost like the canyon is divided into rooms or sections and once the other group moves on, the next group is ushered in.  Considering how crazy crowded it is, they do a good job moving groups through the canyon.  And they get mean about it too.  If you're dawdling, the guide for the next group will (impolitely) admonish you ("you've already had your chance, you need to move and stop taking pictures, it's these people's turn now") and shame you into moving on.  Our guide was nice, probably because she was younger - she tried hard (it was hard for people to hear her because of the sheer numbers there) to convey the history and significance of the site, and though she didn't offer to take photos of us, she did give advice as to what camera settings to use (set it to P, ISO of 200 is fine for now and put the white balance on "cloudy") and was friendly and approachable.  She also tried hard to keep our group of 12 together which was hard because some people would charge ahead and some would linger behind.  

The experience of being there is the antithesis of what all those beautifully haunting professional photos of the canyon convey: it's hectic, it's loud, it's crazy dirty (the dust!  oh, the dust!), you're rushed from place to place with people barking, shoving you aside, getting into your shot, bumping into your arm when you're trying to take a damn photo...there was nothing serene, restful or peaceful about it.  Thankfully I had researched the crap out of it before going and knew what to expect and prepped my parents.  We were adequately prepared for the touristy craziness, but I don't think everyone was.  It's like the Eiffel Tower, the world will be there - it's not going to be a beautiful experience that leads to some great epiphany, but it's something that should be experienced, and despite the hectic environment, if you take the time to really look and appreciate rather than shoving your way through from one cavern to another, you can see the beauty in the colors and the marks on the sandstone walls carved by water and time.  












Most of our photos point UP - because that's where there aren't massive throngs of people.  For photos of US where there's no one around, we basically sprint to a wall or corner where no one is yet and hurriedly snap away before someone (many someones) inevitably stumble in an ruin the shot.  So while even our photos look quiet and serene, the atmosphere was more akin to that of a Chinese night market.






For the light beams, our guides all had shovels on them to toss sand up in the air so it would reflect in the light beams so they'd be visible.  Over, and over and over.  I took a gazillion photos wedging my arms and cameras through other people.  It was traumatic.











Which photos do I love?  These next two.  No sand was thrown in the air, I just managed to capture the light and was thrilled.  Of course, these are two of about 23 photos I took of the light beams hoping something would come out.  I'm thrilled that it's visible considering I have the mad photo skills of a retarded 4 year old monkey.






We were ushered out of Upper Canyon just past one and were back at the site by around 1:30.  Throngs of people stumbled to the outhouses at the edge of the Navajo property.  Considering my mom said it was JUST LIKE CHINA, I opted to hold my pee.  I didn't really need to go and had no desire to retrigger my PTSD from Chinese bathroom encounters I had from touring China when I was 18.  It was horrible, and if this could be compared to that traumatic experience, I would rather squat in the desert.  Oy.

We had gone back and forth during the planning sessions for this trip about whether we should do Upper or Lower Canyon.  Upper because well, it's famous.  It's like not going to see the Statue of Liberty when you visit NYC.  But Lower Canyon, though it doesn't have the famous light beams, has a lot less people and photographers tend to love Lower more than Upper.  Also, it's hella cheap.  It's only $20 a person rather than $40.  Since we don't expect to be coming back any time soon (likely ever), we figured as might as well knock both of them out especially since Lower is so cheap.  And so close.  The tours are literally across the road from each other.  We opted to go with Ken's Tours since they had great reviews on Tripadvisor.  Also, they had tours departing every 20 minutes.  Because we weren't sure just how long Upper was going to take, we booked the 2:40 pm tour.  Well, we were across the road @ Ken's by 1:40 pm and didn't relish the thought of sitting around another hour.  So I asked if we could get bumped to an earlier tour, and they were cool about moving me to the 2 pm tour.  Which was awesome since there were only 9 of us total.  







What was NOT awesome?  The GINORMOUS busload of Chinese tourists that showed up and took off like, 2 minutes before us.  I think it kind of sucked for them - there were like, 50 of them, and they all had one guide.  There were 9 of us, so our guide was able to provide much more individual attention and she was awesome, she showed us different settings for our cameras (a godsend since I told her I just left it on automatic), showed us the best vantage points to capture images, and volunteered to take photos of us.  But Lordy, the Chinese group was loud (and I know loud, I too am Chinese and have been told - by my also very loud brother - that my voice booms like a cannon.  I don't think I'm that bad, but then again, I work with very, very loud people as well) and they just couldn't follow directions well.  I felt bad for their Chinese guide (the guide from the bus) who kept trying to usher them to the tour, down the stairs through the caverns, etc.  It was about a 7-10 minute trek through soft sand to get to the entrance of the canyon.  Unlike Upper where there was only one way in and out, there's an actual entrance down VERY steep stairs (no photos because I didn't want to fall down and die if I wasn't grasping the rails with both hands holding on for dear life) and after a hike through some very narrow and twisty paths, we exit out of a crack.   Seriously.  Totally awesome!


ginormous Chinese group

The stairs that descent into the canyon are super steep, and there's a series of them that kind of twist and turn and honestly, if you're kind of tubby, it would be VERY hard for you to get down and maneuver around the stairs, which in most places are more like ladders with rails.  I have a fear of heights, so I just kept a tight grip on the rails and looked only at the next step.  It was fine, you just have to be cautious.  We ended up staying at the entrance longer than usual because the Chinese group was so large and loud.  I honestly felt super bad for their guide, he kept yelling at them to STOP TAKING PHOTOS ON THE STAIRS AND HOLD ON.  The selfie sticks were out in full force and he kept telling them to keep it moving or else they'll miss all the good stuff the canyon guide can tell them.  I can tell you that my people are not obedient and don't do what they're told.  And since my people are cheap, this poor guy probably wasn't going to earn a lot in tips either.  
Because Taylor (our guide) wanted us to have a more typical experience of Lower Canyon (much calmer, quieter and serene) and kept us by the entrance for about 10 extra minutes to let the Chinese group filter through so there was enough distance between our two groups that we weren't being inundated by their loud yelling.  A few of the people from that group actually freaked out once they got halfway down the stairs and had to be escorted back to wait for their group by the canyon guides.  Once we actually made our way down, it was really awesome.  It was much cooler because it was all shaded, and the colors were entirely different from Upper.  Also, it was quiet.  There were only 10 of us including the guide and she gave us a lot of freedom and latitude to explore at a slow pace.  Some people charged further ahead to get photos without other people in them (WAY easier here than at Upper) while others lingered back.  We were in the middle of the pack for the most part.  








beginning of the stairs down.  Only picture I took because I didn't want to die.





The terrain down there was also totally different, a lot of portions the path was super duper narrow - Lower Canyon is shaped like a "V" while Upper is shaped like an "A" - so there were parts where we had to scramble over rock and places where it was so narrow we could only fit one foot in front of the other, not side by side.






this is a crappy blurry photo, but it illustrates the difficulty we had in getting around sometimes.  It's a super duper narrow turn that barely barely had space for a foot.  I would venture to say anyone with over a 40" waist probably can't fit through some parts.



dad is so tired









the only picture of us we didn't take














Remember when I said we exited out of the canyon through a crack in the earth?  I meant it.  This is the exit:




By the time we got out (super close to the parking lot too!) it was about 3:40 pm.  We (by we I mean me) were soooo tired at this point.  We sank onto one of their picnic tables and tried to empty our shoes and socks of sand.  Oh, the sand.  You can't get away from it.  It blows my mind, but there were people who were wearing flip flops on this hike (and there were some portions where it really was a hike), wedges, and high heels.  Maybe athletic shoes and hiking shoes are an American thing.    Yes, it makes for uglier photos, but at least our feet aren't being rubbed raw by the sand and we aren't slipping and falling while climbing on the rocks because our heels have no grip.  Oy.  I sound like a crotchety old lady.

On the drive back I was starving.  We had breakfast around 8:30, it's been toooo long since I've been fed.  As we're driving the 12 minutes back to Page I see these dome thingys on the left hand side.  My mom said they looked like huts.  With food on the brain I thought they looked like taro buns.  Everything looked like food at this point.  






I was so hungry I was about to eat my fist at this point.  Aside from this, we were eager to return to our room to see Mr. Bendi, who was not allowed to go to the canyons with us.  Thankfully he didn't poop or pee all over and was a good boy so no one complained about him.  I was going to walk across the parking lot to the Jack in the Box to grab something to eat but my mama magically pulled out some food and fed us because she's amazing.  So we had lunch...at around 4:30 in the afternoon.




Then we did what we do on each vacation.  We went to Walmart.  Yes, we are those crazy people who go to Walmarts in Utah, Arizona, South Dakota, and Alaska.  We went because 1) I broke my room flip flops (which are different from flip flops I wear into the world, because I'm crazy and anal retentive.  Crocs have failed me - sob!); 2) we wanted to buy some neosporin for a scratch my mama got, and 3) to buy laundry detergent because all of our clothes were filthy at this point from all the dust.  The motel had a guest laundry room, but they don't provide (or even have any for you to buy) any detergent.  So we drove (yes, we drove...all the way across the street) to the Walmart and purchased detergent.  Then we bought a bunch of random things we didn't need like strawberries and broccoli (yes, we bought broccoli) before we went back to our motel where we surfed the internet and watched TV.  Because we were tired and we are lazy.


the Walmart as seen from our sliding glass door

our motel - our sliding glass door is blocked by our car

it's our door!  

My mom had prepared beef noodle soup for us in advance, but she reduced the soup so she could bring it in a smaller container.  In our kitchenette she added water to the concentrate and then cooked noodles on our electric stove and we ate like kings.  Then we watched Team USA get our ass kicked in the women's World Cup by Japan and I was sad.  So I needed to eat my feelings by consuming the rest of my trail mix and eating strawberries.




Because we were going to leave the next day we all started packing up.  This trip was pretty whirlwind - we didn't stay at any hotel more than 2 nights, so we could never truly unpack because we were just going to pack up again the next night.  Because we knew once we got to Vegas we couldn't just pull our car up to our room to unload and we don't like to valet when we have our dog (it takes too long to wrangle him and then grab all our luggage and figure our what we need and what we don't) and Vdara doesn't have self parking (seriously?  Who doesn't have self parking at these prices???), we tried to take out everything we wouldn't need our two days in Vegas and consolidate our luggage so we're not dragging five gazillion pieces of luggage with us through Bellagio to the Vdara.  (Bellagio's self parking is hella closer than Aria's - which requires two stops on the tram.  Did it last time.  Never again!) 

Exhausted, I fall into bed and dream of all the buffets waiting for me in Vegas.