Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Hello Magic Kingdom! My, what a big castle you've got


Friday -  December 11, 2015

We wake up early.   Too freaking early,  but I had read that because the Ticket and Transportation Center (TTC)  is a pain in the ass,  you want to get there an hour before your pre-opening ADR to ensure you're in line and can enter once they open the gates since there's still a distance to walk from the main entrance to whichever restaurant our ADR is at.   As our ADR was at 8, I wanted to get to the TTC at 7 to ensure we had plenty of time to reach the Magic Kingdom.   Yeah...that didn't happen.   Part of what makes it a pain to get in is that neither the ferry nor the express monorail start operating until 8 am.   The only means of getting into the Magic Kingdom prior to 8 am is taking the resort monorail,  which loops to the Contemporary,  the Polynesian and the Grand Floridian before reaching MK.   That's supposed to take awhile,  so I was nervous. 

Either way,  we get on the road by 7 am drive the 5 miles to the main entrance.   Unlike Disneyland which is relatively compact,  WDW is gigantor.   And the MK is freaking far,  it's like another 10 minutes from the main entrance.   But I was so excited to be there!  (ah, so blissfully ignorant of the pain and suffering the TTC inflicts on those who tread there.  As much as I loved the MK, I ended up hating, hating going there since it was such a pain to get to MK and leave.  The longest we waited for a ride at MK?  It was the 30 minutes we spent waiting for the express (ha!  express) monorail to take us to the TTC from MK.  The pain!)


Hello WDW!  I'm so glad to see you!

And we drive.  And drive.  And drive.  Then we see this:


we made it!  Except uh,...there's no Magic Kingdom.  This leads us to the evil TTC!!!

We're there so early that there's still fog covering the ground. And because I'm crazy, I took a photo of it, so I can share with you the wonders of fog.




Also,  we're there so early we're parked in Aladdin and so close that we didn't need the tram.   We just took our lives in our hands and ran across the street, under the tunnel, and tada!  We're at the TTC!




And we see the glorious ugliness of the TTC.   I've read about it,  but it's not until you're there that you grasp how horribly inefficient and ugly it is. 

I wander about and look for the resort monorail.   Except um,  there's a chain blocking the entrance.   Hmm.   How am I suppose to get to the MK?   As I stand there befuddled,  a guy who looks like management in a polo shirt thought it would be helpful to let me know that the resort monorail is the only means in before 8 am.   Wordless, I just point to the barrier keeping me from Mickey Mouse.   It's his turn to look befuddled.   But thankfully,  he had a magical walkie talkie and found that there was a bus running people to the MK since the monorail was down.  




So we power walk to the bus and hop on with other super excited people who also have crazy early breakfast reservations.   






And I'm still excited.  I'm on a Disney bus (the novelty had not worn off yet.  I would not be so enamored of Disney buses after my visit) and end up taking pictures (that I'm sparing you from).  I hop off the bus at 7:33 am. But not before I take a photo documenting the exact time.  Because I am crazy.  I get all excited and take a bunch of blurry photos (still sparing you),  but alas, despite the ungodly hour we are not the first people there.   We're like the 198th people there.   There was a group of cast members scanning our magic bands (I know we didn't need them,  but I thought it would make life convenient - and it did - and since I got the Memory Maker I needed magic bands to get the ride photos and videos)  to confirm our ADRs.  Once our ADR was confirmed, they allowed us to get in line.


Hello MK!

yes, I was so excited I took a picture of this sign.  Like I said, crazy.

the line of people also eating an obscenely overpriced breakfast.

We're scanned and slowly usher forward.   They let us into the park before 7:40 am, which was earlier than I thought they would.  I'm so excited I'm pretty much incoherent and take a bunch more blurry photos.  I will excerpt the not super duper crap ones below:


the MK tree.  Every park has its own tree themed to the park

Once again, I felt the need to document the exact time my Reef sandals touched the hallowed grounds of Main Street USA

hello big castle!  My, you're much bigger than your cousin Sleeping Beauty's castle in DL!

Since we're in early,  I (along with many other families) find a photo pass photographer and get our first family photos done.   Since I was paying for Memory Maker, we were damn well going to get family photos on this trip!








And of course,  I gotta get the Partners statue.   In front of the gigantor castle.   As opposed to our Partners statue in front of our weenie castle.  








And of course we need our obligatory awkward family selfie.




This castle is so freaking big.  And they built these additional wings that have been under construction for years - so it stretches even further.  The detailing is fantastic as is the norm for Disney though.







I can't get over just how big this castle is - look how long this freaking corridor is!

blurry crappy photo of the Cinderella mosaic that line the walls inside,  But we don't have this!  (although from my very vague memories, Tokyo Disney does.  But I visited w hen I was 5, so I may be talking out of my ass.

We uh, didn't have the foresight to grab a park  map.  So we're pretty much just wandering at this point.  I have a vague idea of where BOG is based on all the research I did leading up to the trip, but honestly, I had no idea what the hell was going on.  I just knew I had to head into Fantasyland.




But from far away - I see it!  I see the puny forced perspective castle sitting on the big rocks!  I don't know if that works - it really does just look like a tiny castle on rocks, but the ambiance surrounding it was fantastic.  The details were amazing.




We get on the bridge leading to BOG and I start snapping pictures like a mad woman.  Like of this lamppost gargoyle.




horribly lit and badly exposed - but it's a pretty waterfall!

hello puny castle!



The doors to BOG were still closed when we arrived.  Soon after we get in line on the bridge (you have to verify your ADR first at the shack before the bridge before they let you get in line) they open the doors and the staff comes out and claps for us.  Are they clapping for our gullibility in paying $20 for breakfast?  Or for the gluttony that is ahead?


is he laughing at us while clapping??

talking suits of armor



Everything that's written about BOG is accurate: the level of detail is amazing.  It's just a pity that they did it for a restaurant with limited capacity.  It's beautiful.  And I loved it in there as Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney film.

Being cheapo Chinese people, I made my brother and my mom order separately from me and my dad so we could have TWO pastry plates instead of one.  Because the portion for 1-4 guests is the same, which I think sucks balls because shouldn't you get more pastries with more people if everyone is paying the same fixed cost?  Why should the ONE person get more pastries than FOUR people when the price is the same for each person?  That's just stupid.  So even on the same ADR, we go to different kiosks and pay separately.  And we sit next to each other in 2 two-person tables.

My dad ended up getting the Eggs Florentine, but asked for it without cheese since he doesn't like cheese.  My mom tried to order it without cheese (according to my brother), but the person at their kiosk refused to accommodate them (what do they do if someone is lactose?) so she go the egg whites and chicken sausage instead.  Our guy who let us order it without cheese was super nice...but here's the problem with making changes.  It takes A THOUSAND YEARS for the food to come out.  My mom and brother were done with their food by the time my dad's and mine came out and we had to hurriedly swallow it hole because it didn't come out until 8:30.  Yes, it took them a half hour.  We didn't even get the pastry plate to munch on because it comes out with your food, so we stared at my brother and mom coveting their breakfast.  I got the open faced bacon sandwich (as did my brother), and we both enjoyed it.  I  just wish I had more time to enjoy it since I gulped it down so quickly as I heard the CM's let us get on Mine Train starting around 8:45 am when the masses at the main entrance are let loose in the park. 


the west wing.  It was gorgeous, but I can see it being scary for little kids

the rose - if you watch it long enough, you can see a falling petal


We ate in the main ballroom - the space was gorgeous with the chandeliers and the sweeping vista of windows with the fake view of a snowy French village.


 




The tables by the "windows" were all taken.  It's snowing outside the windows.


see?  snow!

and a gorgeous Christmas tree

my dad is hangry.  He wants his food.



plate of pastries (one of our two) and the open faced bacon sandwich

close up of bacon and poached egg deliciousness.  I really enjoyed this - the eggs were perfectly poached and the bacon was crisp.  I also loved the creamy brie with it - I just wished I didn't have to cram it all in my mouth in a few minutes.

eggs florentine (without cheese).  My dad said it was fine.  I personally think the cheese would have made it better.  He said the puff had no flavor.  So I told him to cut the funny pieces of ham up and mix them with the eggs and eat that with the puff.  

slightly sad looking egg whites and chicken sausage.  This actually came with croissants (and my mom thought those were good), but the rest of the dish was kind of bleh.

plate of pastry deliciousness.  It was all sweet except for one bran muffin and one croissant per plate.

Being well-prepared cheapo (frugal) people, I brought sandwich bags for our leftover pastries - I didn't want to lug a box around, so we packed up our uneaten pastries (most of it), stuffed them in my brother's backpack and power walked towards Mine Train.  LITERALLY as we walked up they opened the gates of the ride and ushered us on through the FP entrance.  Yay!  We rushed through the line and got into the Mine Train.  

Look how empty our cart is!


see the 2 empty carts behind us?



I tried to take photos on the ride.  Yeah...that didn't work out so well.  Oops.






And then it ended.  Well, that was fast.  


we see Snow White dance with Dopey.  And then, THE END.  Wait, that's it?

another one of our fantastic MM photos!

It was cute and fun though, and my brother wanted to see if we could do it again.  Except we got off and when we tried to get in line, we see a MASS OF HUMANITY descending  - the hordes from the main entrance have arrived!  We see the line fill up immediately and the wait time shoot up to 90 minutes.  Yeah...we're not going on it again.  Only now do my parents see the wisdom of a pre-opening ADR at BOG.  Yup, I don't do stuff without a reason. It may be crazy, and illogical, but it's there!

Anyhoo - here's out super exciting Mine Train video.  With very little footage of us, but it's cute!  And one of the reasons I bought us all magic bands from the Disney store.




With regard to magic bands - they're not necessary, but they make life SO FREAKING EASY.  And when we got to Universal in a week and didn't have them, we mourned over them.  Every time we had to get our ticket or express scanned, we mourned the lack of a magic band.  

After Mine Train I insisted we go on Peter Pan.  I wanted to see the new interactive elements they installed in the queue.  Also, I haven't been on Peter Pan in years and wanted to experience it in Florida, especially bright and early without the lines.  We waited for about 15 minutes.




My brother had no idea why I'd want to go on Peter Pan - it's exactly the same as OC's version, and there's nothing phenomenal about it.  But it was a ride I loved as a kid, and there wasn't really a line!  I didn't get photos (usable ones anyway) of the interactive elements, but they were cute and a fun way to pass the time in line.  

Went on the Haunted Mansion - which was a little different from ours.   Also, it was right off of Fantasyland, so I was totally confused.  Still fun - no Nightmare Before Christmas overlay, which made me a little sad, but my brother prefers the old school version - he doesn't like the Nightmare overlay.




We went to find Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and took some glamour shots of Rivers of America.




And some not so glamorous shots of us.






if you squint hard you can see Raymond and I

We find BTMRR.  We ride BTMRR.  I like the queue better than ours, but since ours has been revamped (per Raymond who went to DL the week before our trip) with a smoother track, new effects and an awesome explosion, MK's BTMRR was a little disappointing.






We walk by Splash and notice that there's no wait.  Why wait for 1:30 pm for our FP then?  We hop on and trade our FP for Pirates instead.

And I do a totally douchey move that I HATE - I raise my one moron arm up for an inexplicable reason and block my mom's face.  Our faces are often blocked by weird nonsensical people who like to throw their arms up.  Dude, it doesn't make the ride more fun or make you look braver.  You're at Disney.  So I hate that I did it and photo-blocked my mom.





We head all the way across the park to Tomorrowland for our FP to Space Mountain.  And pass by Fantasyland.


Hello Tangled castle!  You're so cute!






And we get our ride photos courtesy of MM.  VERY unflattering ugly ass ride photos if I may add.  Ugh.  The camera is also just in a bad, bad place - you don't catch people's faces at all - who decided to put it there?!?






Eh.  I like the seating, but our version is better because the track is a lot smoother.  Also, it's themed to Star Wars now, and anything with Star Wars in it is awesome.  Then we do a ride on my favorite favorite ride: The PeopleMover.  Oh how I miss the PeopleMover!  It never had a line, you got to walk on and grab a seat and go through the Tron world and see the inside of Space Mountain...it was awesome.  And now it's gone (sob!).  So I had to go on it while we were at WDW.  My brother was also excited about it, my parents - less enthused.

It's a little different...there's no roof!   But still fabulous.






My dad being  not-enthused about the PM
We toddle over to Adventureland for the Jingle Cruise - which I was excited about because we don't have that here.  Eh.  It wasn't that great - they threw Santa hats onto some of the animatronics and some presents in the river...and that was about it.  Maybe our skipper was kind of flat - but I was a little let down.  With a name like Jingle Cruise I was expecting just a little...more.


















After being disappointed by the Jingle Cruise that didn't have a lot of jingle in it, we headed back to BOG for our lunch ADR.  Which I had stayed up for at 3 am Pacific Time 180 days out.  And still couldn't get a reservation for.  I finally ponied up for ADR sniper (which from what I understand has been taken out of commission) and nabbed a lunch ADR for BOG (yay!  There was much celebrating when I got it).  We just got lucky to have breakfast there too just so I could eat in both dining rooms (I didn't have any desire to eat in the music box room - it wasn't in the movie!) and also get on Mine Train without a line.



hello!  It's nice to see you again.

hello again tiny castle!

I take this opportunity to take more lopsided, unartistic and blurry photos of the restaurant.  Being generous, I will share my lack of mad photo skills with you.
















This time I wanted to eat in the west wing...so after we order we stand there and minutes later a family leaves.  We hover over the table while the staff is cleaning it and descend like locusts and claim it.  Yay! (while we were eating, there were a lot of people standing around waiting for tables - the west wing is a popular place to eat!).  There's thunder and lightning, and what's cool is when that happens, the portrait of the prince flashes to that of the Beast, and back again.  You'll also see the rose lose a petal once in a while.  


Hi blurry mama!

None of us are that hungry, so we order a roast beef sandwich for my brother, the roast pork for my dad, and my mom and I each get a kid's portion of the roast pork which was perfect for us.  She got hers with french fries (sorry, no photos.  I know, you're sobbing now that you don't know what our french fries looked like) while I got mine with sweet potatoes.  If you're not a big eater, the kid's portion is actually a pretty good size.  I don't like being stuffed at theme parks (though I ended up with a few bites of my dad's when he said he had too much food) and I also got a Master's cupcake because I wanted the gray stuff, so it was perfect.


a lopsided glamour shot of my portion of the pork, but you can see the adult portion my dad has in the background.  It come with a mountain of mashed potatoes, more green beans, and a larger portion of the same pork.  He ended up giving me a scoop because he said it was too much food.  And I don't say no to food.



the roast beef sandwich my brother got.  He liked it - he cut me a small piece when we swapped some food and I thought it was pretty tasty.

My mom is diabetic, so I got her the sugar free orange cream puff - my dad likes cream puffs (the only sweet he'll eat) so they shared it.  My brother and I shared the cupcake and we really enjoyed it.  It wasn't very big, but the cake was spongy and lightly flavored without being overwhelming.  The gray stuff was Oreo frosting, and it matched the not too sweet cake very well.  We really liked it - that's saying something because 1) I don't know like chocolate cake in general and 2) my brother also doesn't really like cupcakes - but we both enjoyed this.


orange cream puff and the Master's cupcake



A happy lunch ending, yes?

What I didn't take into account?  Just how exhausted my parents were going to be.  I mean, I was tired, but I was running on adrenaline and ready to go.  My dad - after lunch he cried uncle.  He needed a nap in the worst way; he'd been walking pretty much non-stop criss-crossing the park all day and he was jet lagged and sleep deprived.  Oy.  So my touring plan for the afternoon was blown to kingdom come - instead of following it religiously like we did in the morning, we kind of just winged it.  Which was easy because we'd hit all the big E-ticket rides (or had FP for them) and there were only a few more things left on my list of must-dos.  

This is when it all became a blur - I don't remember the exact order we did everything in, but I remember all these attractions.  I also remember ending with Philharmagic.  Cute!

Basically the rest of the day was a bid to find a cool place where my parents could sit in a cool place and get some rest.  We did the Tiki Room (at some point...)




um...where was the Dole Whip.  It certainly wasn't here!

One of the things I wanted to do was to climb the Swiss Family Robinson tree house.  I love the movie as a kid (it's a great kid fantasy!) and have great nostalgia for our old tree @ DL which has been turned into the Tarzan tree (sacrilege!).  












And we cashed in our FP for Pirates.  I liked the show building more because more of it was indoors (yay for a/c!) and it was themed well.  But it was a lot shorter, or at least it seemed a lot shorter.












One of the attractions/shows I really wanted to do was the Hall of Presidents.  We have Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln here, but I wanted to see all the presidents.  Granted, I'm a nerd who loves history, but I LOVED this.  It had ALL the presidents (though Obama looked funny) and they were all introduced - when the spotlight hit each one, they would incline their head or nod or wave or do something.  My dad and brother slept through it (my brother was snoring.  I was pretending I didn't know him, we just happened to be two Asian people sitting a seat away from each other) but my mom and I loved it.  The animatronics were really well done as was the film.  And the waiting room had all sorts of fun exhibits from different presidents.



George W's inauguration boots

this belonged to Lincoln.  I don't care what kind of book it is, it belonged to Honest Abe!



And the show begins.

The chairs were cushy and comfortable and the a/c was awesome.  My dad enjoyed napping there.  After the show was over my brother needed his crack: he needed Starbucks.  So my parents went right back into the Hall of Presidents to catch two more quick naps while Raymond and I made the first of our eight thousand Starbucks runs of the trip.

We outran the parade to find our parents and we took a break (after their nap) at the seating area of Sleepy Hollow while we sucked down our caramel macchiatos.  I wanted to try their fresh fruit and Nutella sandwiches, but I didn't have much of an appetite at the time, especially while sucking down a grande caramel macchiato.




My parents play games on their phone as they enjoy some beverages as well.  Raymond plays his games while I go through the pictures I've taken for the day.




We decide to do Small World and Philharmagic, then take my parents back to the condo while Raymond and I try to make Fantasmic! at Hollywood Studios.

I'm underwhelmed by MK's Small World.  It's indoors.  Where's the big impressive lighted and decorated Small World building?  Yeah...no.  Oh well.  Other than that, it wasn't too different from DL's version.


'


Then we head across the way to Philharmagic, where we sit on the ground waiting for the show.  It was cute and worth the 10 minute wait.




At this point it's about 6 and we prepare to leave MK.  We just miss some castle show.  I wanted to stay to watch the castle light up, but my parents were tired and that wasn't going to happen.  Oh well, there's always the next day.





We wander down Main Street and leave...then proceed to wait for the ferry.  Which took awhile.  Then once we boarded the ferry (without seats - no!) we wait until we're crammed in like sardines before we make the long slow trip across the Seven Seas Lagoon.




and of course we posed for a photograph on our way out.  Because we squeeze every drop of value out of the Memory Maker


a view of the Cosmopolitan from the ferry

crammed like sardines :(

We arrive at the evil TTC and find our car pretty quickly.  At this point my parents decide not to go back to the condo, but just to head to HS and they would stay in the car to sleep, rest, and play on their phone.  We agree and head to Hollywood Studios.  Except we hid mad traffic.  MAD. TRAFFIC.  All trying to get into HS.  WTH????  It took us about an HOUR to go about a quarter of a mile.  But putt putt we did - and since we had to putt putt for an hour, we (nor did any of our neighbors who putt putted with us) refused to let anyone cut in front of us.  Oh hell no!  Fortunately, we still had pastries left over from breakfast (because we were successfully cheap) and we munched on those while we crawled slower than a snail trying to get into HS.  This was good because we were hungry by this point.  It was almost 8!

It took so long that we were afraid we'd miss Fantasmic.  Raymond hadn't seen it in years, and we figured if we miss it, we'd just hit Tower of Terror (his favorite ride @ the Disneyland Resort) and maybe Star Tours.  We make it to the HS parking lot at 8 pm - the show starts at 8:30.  My parents gratefully lower the seats in the back of the SUV (it has 3 rows, we put the 3rd row down flat and can adjust the back of the 2nd row) and they sleep and rest on the car.  My mom played a game on her cell until she fell asleep.  


blurry ass photo of the HS tree
hello!  You look JUST like your cousin Disney California Adventures in OC!

Being in a hurry didn't mean we weren't going to take advantage of photopass, so we snagged a photo.  Apparently with Tinkerbell.



And we powerwalk to the theater.  I knew it was in the boonies, but I had no idea just HOW boonies it was.  We just followed the crowd, and ended up in the section on the far left, but happy to have seats.  Even though it took forever to get to, I was impressed by the amphitheater - in DL Fantasmic! is right there in the park, and there's barely any place to sit - you have to jostle for space and fiercely defend your blanket/towel space.  People keep encroaching and moving your blanket out of the way - I'm the crazy bitch who glares and sits on the very edge of the blanket to keep the invaders at bay.  Dude, I'm Asian, my people don't get the concept of personal space.  Go ahead and try to move me, my fat ass ain't moving from this spot and I can sit 2 inches away from you ALL NIGHT LONG.  And I WILL breathe on you.  So no, you don't get to sit where I've been holding down a spot for the last hour.  Ahem.  Wait, sorry, where was I?  I get blanket rage.  Like I get road rage.  And people cutting in line rage.  Hmm...I get lots of rage.

Anyhoo, I loved having the amphitheater seating.  What I didn't love?  Trying to get out after the show.  OMG - ten thousand people trying to exit at the same time...that was NOT fun.




see all that space to our left?  Yeah, that was filled up in a matter of minutes - all latecomers to the show like us.

excited selfie for Fantasmic!









It was fun, and a little different because there was no Peter Pan (no Columbia here).  I didn't really like the Pocahontas portion a much and the finale seemed much less impressive on the little weenie steamboat than it does on the Mark Twain.  See?  We have sparklers and a big cool boat.





Also their dragon sucks.  It just does.  It's like a bony dragon head on a stick.  Whereas we have Murphy, who is awesome.  Let's compare:

Their dragon:




And our dragon (Murphy):




However, their seating area was so much better than it really bumped up their score.  My brother loved the amphitheater so much he called it even - but really, the dragon is what decided it for me - yes, WDW has vastly superior seating - it's own amphitheater! - BUT their dragon is so sad and sucking of donkey balls that we have to win.  What I want to know is why don't they have a Murphy as well??

Anyhoo, we wade through the crush of people and on our way out see that the Tower of Terror has a low wait time.  Since Raymond loves this ride we hop in line to ride it.  I loved it - the 5th dimension made this ride so much cooler than our version.  And of course, some morons in the front row throw their arms up in the air and completely block our faces because they're selfish pricks.  DON'T FREAKING THROW YOUR STUPID ASS ARM IN THE AIR LIKE YOU'RE DANCING DONKEYS.  You ain't at a club yo.  

But the detailing, the theming, the ride - it was all fantastic and fun.  We were grinning when we got off the ride.  Not that you could see, since retards 1 and 2 have their arms thrown up.





And thus ends our night.  We trudge back to the main entrance, hop onto the tram, and promptly forget where exactly it was we parked.  That was when we realized that WDW put down their row numbers and characters ON THE GROUND instead of on a post.  What's up with that?  Who came up with that dumb idea?

But we drive the 10 minutes  back to our condo, my mama makes us a snack, and we shower and go to bed.  Tomorrow we gotta get up early again to make the 8 am rope drop at Animal Kingdom!


Sunday, December 27, 2015

We go to Orlando!

Thursday - December 10, 2015

Day 1: 12/10/15  Below! (all the links that is, not below your computer.  That would be weird)
Day 2: 12/11/15  Hello Magic Kingdom! My, what a big castle you've got
Day 3: 12/12/15  Part I: A morning in Animal Kingdom
                           Part II:  We meet Darth Vader & the Wishes Dessert Party
Day 4: 12/13/15 Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow (EPCOT)
Day 5: 12/14/15 Hello Tampa!  We board Brilliance of the Seas (again)


It's vacation day!  Which makes it okay that we had to get up at 6 am for our 10 am flight.  Otherwise, I'd want to punch myself on the face for getting up that early when I don't have work.  Like all people before going on a 2 week vacation, I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off the week leading up to vacation trying to clear off my desk at work, buying everything Amazon told me I needed in a panic because somehow I forgot I was going to ORLANDO, which has EVERYTHING we have here in Orange County, trying to run around and get my Christmas shopping done (it was a miserable, miserable failure) and generally just being a crazy OCD person who likes to have everything planned down to the minute.  I was up until about 2 am the night before (the morning of?) finishing up my packing (I kept taking stuff out, putting it back, etc.  I was a moron.  I should have just left it.  Because then I'd have more summer clothes - yes, in December - which was sorely needed).  So I'm groggy, but excited because hello!  TWO WEEKS OFF = super duper awesome times a thousand.  

Brian, the guy we always get to drive us to the airport rolls up early (as usual) and we load our 4 big suitcases and drive to the airport.  We got lucky and 3 of us got TSA pre-checked.  And it was glorious.  I didn't have to remove my laptop, little quart baggie, or take off my shoes.  Yay!

Except uh...my brother, who was NOT pre-checked, ended up at the gate faster than us.  Because my mom's carry on was searched.  The TSA dude was confused by the bag of rice (yeah...we're those people) and package of tofu (I know) she had in her carry on.  So we stood there while he took out a box of tofu and examined the bag of rice she had in her carry on.  Lord knows why it wasn't checked instead, but alas, we stood around for about 10 minutes while he searched our carry on for dangerous weapons and explosives.  Because we look like terrorists.  In our Skechers Go Walks and our hoodies and jeans.  Anyhoo, he confiscated our INCREDIBLY dangerous box of Mori-Nu tofu and we went on our way...to the gate.  Where we sat around for about 10 minutes before boarding.  We got lucky and because our tickets were booked with my parents' account so instead of being in boarding group 2084, I was in boarding group 2 (see, my unawesome boarding experience going to Alaska when I booked my own ticket with my own non-premier account - sob!) - which is awesome because 1) there's less people trudging backwards in front of us and we can actually get to our seat within 2 years and 2) there's room in the overhead bins for our carry ons.  Which are actual carry on sized bags (it's a touchy subject for me.  I get super judgey).  






I'm not demonstrating the Asian squat, I was actually digging through my carry on for hand sanitizer because I am crazy.

But we get lucky on the flight - we're seated in 2 rows of three across from each other and none of our rows have a 3rd person in the middle.  And because we're in Economy Plus, we have plenty of leg room, which is wasted on us shorties.  While it's not super comfortable, it was okay and I even managed to doze for a few hours.


I don't even know how to take a selfie!  :(

look how much leg room I've got!

my brother's the tallest of us shorties at 5'9" - look how much leg room he's got!

We knew that we wouldn't have time to grab food for our flight (because we are lazy and like to sleep) and being super cheapasses (and proud of it) we didn't want to spend $10 on a snack box with dried fruit and nuts, my mama (who is awethome!) packed us fake sushi as a snack.  Fake as in it ain't sushi.  But it has rice.  And seaweed.  Basically it's just steamed sushi rice with cooked salmon rolled up in seaweed so we can grab them without needing utensils (because we ghetto like that).  After a very unsatisfactory nap (you can only sleep so well on a crappy airplane seat) I stuffed my face.  So.  Good.  Then Raymond woke up and stuffed his face.  Then I was an anal retentive OCD person and took photos of the leftovers.  By the way, my mama made two containers.  This was what was left.  Which was soon eaten when we reached our rental condo.  




We arrive a little ahead of schedule, ride the cute tram and pick up our luggage.  

he's happy.  I swear.
see?  we're all happy
Hello Orlando airport Christmas tree!

Is it stupid that I thought the little tram was cute?  I guess because we don't have one of these at LAX.  I'm clearly deranged.








We got our rental car through Costco and were assigned to Budget.  We got a great price, but the guy who worked the desk (my brother swears his name is Mohammed Ali - I just remember the Ali part) SUCKED DONKEY BALLS.  He was rude, he was condescending, and an all around asshat when I refused to upgrade our standard Kia SUV into a BMW X5 or an Escalade.  Because uh...we're going to Disney World and leaving the car at a lot during our cruise and don't want a BMW or an Escalade it means we are stupid?  Anyhoo, he dicked us around, bullied and threatened me trying to force me to buy their crap insurance and became all offended when I told him I purchased rental car insurance through Amex.  Then he threatened me with liability issues like I couldn't speaky engrish.  Honestly, he'd sell so much more insurance if he wasn't such a dick.  What REALLY pissed me off was that he then assigned us a car in the furthest possible space in the lot...except after we dragged our suitcases in the Florida humidity, the space was empty. Like I said, the butthole of a retarded donkey.  So we wandered around in the humidity until we found someone who helped us out and pulled up in another gray Kia SUV.  Random black dude who was cool and found us a car and changed our paperwork = super awesome.  Mohammed Ali who dicked us around = sucks balls.  Do I make my dislike of him obvious enough? So Orlando didn't start out the greatest for us (thanks bunghole Mohammed Ali) but we bucked up and were determined to have fun dammit!

I really wanted to stay in the World, but I really didn't want to pay $400 a night for a hotel room with 2 full beds.  With four adults, there's no way we could function in a 300 square feet hotel room with 2 full sized beds.  For $400 a night.  We'd need two rooms, which would be $800 a night - and as I work for the government, that ain't happening.  Sadly, my dream of staying inside the World had to die (sob!).  So I hopped onto homeaway.com like I always do and found a great 3 bedroom 2 bath condo about 5 miles away from the Main Entrance for $500.  Total.  Win!

It was super clean, the beds were comfortable, and it was fantastic to have our own kitchen, as little as it was used.  And honestly, since the WDW portion of our trip was so short (3 days to do 4 parks - which I do NOT recommend ANYONE do - we were about to keel over from exhaustion), we weren't there except to sleep and shower.  And we didn't even sleep that much!  Paying hundreds of dollars a night for a room you're barely in is totally not worth it.  If I had to do it again though, I'd stretch out the WDW visit from 3 to 6 days.  It's that tiring.  






master bedroom

second bedroom - I stayed here

third bedroom - my brother stayed here.  And slept on both beds - one for napping and one for sleeping at night.  He likes variety!

our bath

master bath

dining area

Once we find our condo (ahhh...) and settle in and unpack for the next 3 days and my mama makes  magic in the kitchen.  Because that's how we roll.  She knew that we were in for almost two weeks of theme park and cruise food and wanted to delay that and alleviate the pain as much as possible.  So she packed the ingredients for potstickers and that's what we had for dinner our first night in Orlando.




Dumplings are delicious.  And my mama even remembered Sriracha!  Because she is magic.








After dinner we sit and watch NBA games.  And being the crazy person I am, I scour My Disney Experience one more time and find an 8 am ADR (advanced dining reservation) for breakfast at Be Our Guest, which is the FREAKING hardest ADR to get, and seeing BOG was one of the things I had to do.  Also, a pre-opening ADR means that we can beat the crazy ass rope drop crowds and get on the Seven Dwarves Mine Train whose Fastpass+ was gone before I could even book our FP's for our trip.  Seriously - this is what I've learned: booking and planning a Walt Disney World vacation is a fine art.  If you want to eat where you want and hit the rides you want without standing in line for 3 hours - it literally takes months of planning, researching, and scouring the limits of the internets.  Oy.  It's not for the faint of heart.  Because I couldn't get the Mine Train FP 30 days out (sob!) my original plan was to get to the gates by 8:15 for the 9 am opening and literally dragging my parents through the park during rope drop hoping to get in line for Mine Train without having to wait more than 30 minutes.  Fingers crossed.  If we fall behind even a little, that wait becomes 60-90 minutes.  Because that's how crazy Disney people are.  So getting a pre-opening ADR for BOG (which is right next to Mine Train) made me so freaking happy since we get to hop on the ride before the crowds from the main entrance arrive as we're so close to it.  Even if it meant paying $19/pp for breakfast and getting up at the butt crack of dawn.  Because 6 am Orlando time = 3 am So Cal time.  




I celebrate my ADR find by high-fiving myself because no one else shares my excitement.  Then we realize that we need drinking water. And snacks.  And mascara.  And we venture out in search of bottled sustenance and find the mother ship.  It was beautiful.  And wondrous.  I wish we had a Super Target, but if we did I'd be too poor to go on vacation because all of my paycheck would be going to Super Target.




Even though I could have spent oh...another 4 hours there, I force myself to leave because we have to get some sleep to prepare for the long day ahead.  Tomorrow we go to the Magic Kingdom!