A Day at Animal Kingdom

Monday - May 1, 2017

We wake up early again...like, 6:15 am early (which feels like 3:15 to me - sobbing) because we ordered room service for 6:30...like fancy people do.  A knock at the door came promptly at 6:30 am and they wheeled in a cart for us - what an indulgence to eat breakfast sitting on our beds!  The continental breakfast ended up being the perfect size for the two of us: I got the OJ, we split the carafe of coffee (there was plenty), and there were assorted breads and pastries - I think we each got 2 pieces - which is actually more than I usually have for breakfast.  Also, we totally jacked the little bottles of jams.  Because they're awesome.  And because we're cheap.  But they're so cute!  This was just enough sustenance to get us started on the day without feeling gross and sluggish.  And while it wasn't super cheap, it actually cost the same as we probably would've spent at Starbucks buying 2 coffees (let's face it, it'd be lattes or something) and pastries (plural) for ourselves - and we got to eat while getting ready and still wearing PJ's.  Win!  Room service was a fantastic way to start the day.  I wish I could have room service every day!  This is also the day we adopted our official Disney Parks Hairstyle: the pigtails.  We both had hats (because we're Asian, which means 1) we're deathly afraid of sunburn and 2) we have black hair, and left in the sun too long with a bare head means our heads feel like a lake of boiling lava) and we couldn't wear our hats AND get our hair off of our necks.  Enter, the pigtail.  You divide your hair in half into low pigtails, so voila!  Your hair isn't scrunched on your head (in a pony tail or with a clip) so your hat actually fits, and your hair is also off your neck for the win!  So yes, we were two middle aged Asian women rocking pigtails for the week, but it's not like anyone knew us.  Also, I was comfortable, so I just didn't care that much.  

We pack up all of our things because we we were moving hotels - to Beach Club!  EMH at Animal Kingdom (AK) start at 8:00 am, and we wanted to get there by 7:30 so we weren't in the back of the line, so we bundled up our stuff, checked out on the TV, called the valet for our car (which is kind of a pain, but it's first world problems) and drove directly to Animal Kingdom.  They scanned our Magic Bands to ascertain we were guests of the resort (for free parking) and in we went!  Because WDW is full of money grubbing greediness. they've now blocked off the best parking as "deluxe parking" and charge double for it.  Nope, we were going to park far away and take the stinking free tram.  That's how we roll.  

We joined the crowds at the turnstiles and not long after that we shuffled in, being held behind the Tree of Life.  We already had FP for the Kilimajaro Safaris, Expedition Everest and Kali River Rapids, but I wanted to rope drop the Safari since I read the animals were more active first thing in the morning as a lot of them are nocturnal.  That was actually a smart choice since on our second ride through at 2 pm we saw a lot less animals than we did early in the morning.

I don't have a million photos of the safari since I took 2 million last time, but I did snap some of this guy:

He started following us!  He literally got within 5 feet of us. Not just the truck.  US.  It was so cool.  Unless giraffes are somehow undercover dangerous, then it wasn't cool at all.  But this is such a unique thing to have at a theme park!

After the Safari we head over to Expedition Everest, but we stroll through Africa to get to Asia.  I made us stop to get a picture with African Mickey, one of my favorite little Disney details in AK.

Then we went and rode on Expedition Everest (twice...because no lines!) and then headed over to Dinosaur.  Dinosaur is just Indiana Jones...without Indiana Jones.  It's literally the Indy ride set in weird dino land.  I don't know why they didn't just build an Indiana Jones ride, I honestly think it would fit into the theme of Animal Kingdom.  I mean, there's Asia and Africa - wouldn't a hidden temple in one of those places with an Indy ride be awesome?  Instead there's the loser land known as Dino Land USA.  AKA Loser Land.  I don't know what such an ugly land is doing in a park as gorgeous and well themed as AK.  It's like they ran out of money and just literally put some carnival rides in a parking lot and decided "tada!  It's a land now!"  Oy vey.

But Expedition Everest, one of my favorite rides.  Aside from the thrill factor, it's amazingly themed and the details are gorgeous.  And it's the closest I'll ever come to climbing any mountain.

I don't know where the hell I'm looking, but I look kinda drunk.  

There's a crazy big ugly dinosaur that roars when this photo is taken, that's why everyone is looking in the same direction.

After Dinosaur we went on Primeval Whirl, which is just a mouse coaster fancied up with dinosaur poster boards, then we walked around a bit to take photos of the place because it is, in my humble opinion, the most beautiful of the Disney parks (caveat: haven't done Tokyo DisneySea yet, and from what I understand, that park is amazing).

 

In our travels looping around the park, we'd randomly head over to see if Pandora was having any soft openings.  They were, but only for cast members (sob!).  So all I got was this lousy ass photo of the open door.  Where you couldn't see anything anyway because it just leads to the bridge to Pandora.

We hit up Creature Comforts (Starbucks) for some caffeinated sustenance and laze around Pizzafari's seating area to unwind for a few minutes - then with our icy delicious crack on hand we head over for Flight of Wonder.  It's a super cute bird show, and well worth the time.  Then we use our first FP - on Kali River Rapids.  Fortunately it was a pretty hot day, so getting wet wasn't horrible - but we'd thought ahead and both wore quick dry clothing to the parks, so I was almost fully dry within 30 minutes anyway.  It's fun, and it's cute...but the logging theme...eh.  It wasn't as well themed as Grizzly River Run in DCA, and in my opinion it's not a must do even if it's fun.  While still a little damp, we made a beeline to use our FP for Expedition Everest (again) and then ran to catch Finding Nemo - The Musical.  WELL WORTH IT.  You know how I thought HS's shows were horribly disappointing?  The shows at AK were incredible!  The theaters are nice, the production values are high, and they're super fun and entertaining!  We both loved the Finding Nemo musical.  Even though the lines are long, the theater (indoors, air conditioned!) is super big and can accommodate a lot of people.  It was a really fun way to spend 40 minutes, and it was as good as Aladdin @ DCA was.  We had a few more things we wanted to do before we took our afternoon break, so we grabbed a Mickey Bar (an absolute necessity), watched the Festival of the Lion King (also super fun), and used our FP for the Safari (not as good as the morning, because the animal were more active earlier).  

Mickey bars = perfection

Festival of the Lion King: acrobats, dancers, singers and music = lots of fun.

As we exited the Safari, you can see the gorilla habitat.  We happened to walk by an watch the gorilla taking a pee into the pretty waterfall.  Hmm...

At this point we were ready for real food, and I wanted to try to check into our rooms at Beach Club, so we took the tram back out to our car and drove to Beach Club.  The room wasn't quite ready yet (I got a text that it was ready like, 15 minutes after checking in), so I dragged JK to the Crew's Cup Lounge at the Yacht Club (it's connected to the Beach Club for those who don't know) and we split one of their delicious lobster rolls and truffle fries.  We actually got super lucky.  I knew the DVC villas were painted a different color from the Beach Club hotel building, so when we drove into the Beach Club, we located the Villa side and parked our car there (and there it remained untouched for 3 days) and ended up super close to our room!  Once we finished our food (soooo good.  I'm actually kinda sad we didn't get a chance to go back for another meal, which is why we should stay there longer next time) we grabbed our luggage from the car and took in our new room.  It's so pretty!  I know they just refurb'd the villas, and I liked the new color palette and cool beachy style.  

the little kitchenette area.  That fridge and microwave were so handy.  This is before we put our bags and bags of snacks here

I think this room would be too small for a family of 5 (yes, it sleeps 5.  Technically.  It's a queen bed, an almost queen sofa bed, and a twin size bed folds down from the cabinet under the TV where the table and chairs are), but for the two of us (and we had the couched folded down into a bed the whole time), it was roomy and comfortable.  I think we could do three - but with the beds folded down all the time it might be a bit tight.  I got the bed because JK is super nice.  She said the sofabed was super comfortable because they use the same comfy mattresses that the nice Marriotts use. While it didn't smell like rich people, the Beach Club was comfortable and homey, and it ended up being both of our favorites of the three hotels we stayed at.  All of them were nice, but we LOVED the Beach Club.  

We didn't have a balcony because we were on the first floor, and we had no view to speak of.  I mean, there were bushes, and beyond the bushes through the holes in the foliage we could see the Epcot road and cars, but we didn't care.  

We wiped ourselves down because we were both kinda dirty and sweaty so we cleaned up a bit (yay for Dude Wipes!) since we didn't want to get our nice clean beds all gross (I even changed into my "room clothes" because my "park clothes" had dirty AK water ride germs on them) and we hooked up the roku and watched Blackish, only one of the best shows ever.

It was a super nice break - we unpacked, we ate, we settled into our room, and we relaxed.  But we also had a 6:10 pm dinner reservation at Tiffins as a part of the Rivers of Light dining package.  We wanted to see the show, but we didn't want to use a FP for it or stand in line for two hours hoping to get in on stand by, so the day the dining package came out, I booked it.  And it's worth it.  It's pricey, but since we literally ordered the most expensive appetizer and entree (fortunately they were the ones we actually wanted to eat) and with a drink and dessert, we more than got our money's worth.  AND FP's on top of it!

So we put on our muumuus, I rebraided my pigtails, and off we went on the resort bus.  I've heard nightmares about the resort buses, but we only had good experiences.  We never had a long wait, and as we went when there weren't huge crowds, we always got a seat.  

Tiffins is gorgeous - it has all the concept art and inspiration the Imagineers collected in their travels while designing Animal Kingdom - and it's like a museum.  They encourage you to go from room to room to view all the artifacts and mock ups and sketches they have displayed.  It's a very warm and comfortable environment, but the food is seriously fine dining quality.  

We both started with the grilled octopus in some kind of saffron aioli that was freaking delicious.  Octopus can be rubbery, but these were perfectly prepared - tender, with the perfect hit of acid to contrast against the rich aoli.  

We also both opted for the Wagyu strip loin and braised short rib that came with potatoes and rainbow carrots.  Also freaking delicious.  The meat was tender and flavorful and they weren't chintzy with the amount either.  These were good solid portions of food.  

We ended with the lime cheesecake and the calamansi mousse (to the right).  I ended up eating more of the cheesecake because it was sweeter and JK ended up going for the calamansi mousse becuase she likes tart, so it was actually perfect.  

And they gave us a light up popcorn bucket :)

We had managed to book another FP for Expedition Everest, which I had read you NEED to ride in the dark to get the full effect (and it IS awesome in the dark) and we actually did one of the nature walks before our FP window began.  Once we finished Expedition Everest, it was time to find our seats for Rivers of Light.  

the floats for RoL ready to go

looking towards the seating area for Rivers of Light

We found our seats and settled in.  There was about a half hour wait until the show began, but we ended getting a pretty nice view and with the magic of smart phones, time passed quickly.

view from our seats

Then the show started.  I agree with most of the reviews - it starts with a bang, then it kind of peters away - but I think like World of Color, because it's projected onto water screens, this is a show that can be adjusted and it will eventually find its groove.  For what it is (it's nighttime entertainment, it's not life changing), it's fun, entertaining, and has some cool effects.  It is sad that they couldn't pull off all they promised, but the original plan was crazy ambitious.  I do think it's worth watching, and I did enjoy it.  The only issue is there isn't enough cohesiveness to pull it all together - it seems like a bunch of cool animal scenes with pyrotechnics cobbled together.  But like I said, entertaining, not life changing.  It doesn't have the emotional pull of some other nighttime shows yet, but I think with some tweaking, they could get there.  

The crowds then disbursed and we shuffled our way out of the park.

We didn't have to wait long for a bus to Beach Club - and soon we were headed back to our room.   While walking to our room, we admired our hotel for a bit because it's pretty :)

And after our long day, we shower, watch some Blackish (we basically watched that whenever we were in our room) and crashed.  We were headed to Magic Kingdom the next day, in what would end up being the longest and most tiring day of our whole trip.

Hollywood Studios...where Star War is awesome but Beauty and the Beast is not (sob!)

Sunday - April 30, 2017

Today we wake up bright and early at 7 am.  Which to my west coast body, is freaking 4 in the morning.  Oh joy.  Except I manage to drag myself out of bed because we're in WDW!!!

It's unfortunate that Hollywood Studios doesn't have a lot to do right now while they're still building Star Wars Land, but since I spent less than a half day here on our last trip, I was excited to visit for a whole day.  We had FP's in the morning for Tower of Terror and I wanted to try to rope drop Rock n Roller Coaster.  We also planned to go to Sunday service at Faith International Baptist Church, eat at Cracker Barrel, and we had booked the Star Wars Galactic Spectacular Dessert Party so we could see the fireworks and projections from a fantastic location without having to stake our claim hours beforehand.  Because I'm lazy, and I love desserts.

The one bad thing?  Sunday's are Hollywood Studio's (HS) Extra Magic Hours (EMH) for Disney resort guests...and we weren't eligible yet because we don't check into a Disney resort until the next day (sob!).  BUT - we still planned HS for Sunday because 1) less attractions meant spending a few hours off-site wouldn't impact being able to do everything we wanted to; 2) we would be spending Monday at Animal Kingdom, which DID have EMH on Monday, the day we check into Beach Club; and 3) they have the Galactic Spectacular on Sundays, not Mondays, and I didn't fly all the way to Florida to NOT see Star Wars fireworks!

Even though we made rope drop, we could see all the resort guests already going inside.  Because I used our tier 1 FP on Toy Story Mania, we had to rope drop RnRC, and I was starting to stress out over the wait for it because of all the guests that were already in the park.  I shouldn't have worried, even with moderate crowds, our wait was under 20 minutes.  

Literally, the moment we were let in, I started power walking to RnRC - and as a lot of the line is indoors, it was quite nice.  :)

The theming may be cheesy and dated (Aerosmith?  Really?), but the ride is so much fun!  See?

don't we look like we're having fun??  Although the random guys behind us look like they might be having more fun.  And maybe ate a marijuana brownie or two.

After we hopped off the roller coaster we went directly to the FP kiosk to get our same day FP's for the day.  We booked RnRC again, Tower of Terror (again), and another FP for Star Tours.  Once our selections were made, we headed off to ToT.

I have to say, even though ours here in DCA (may God rest its soul, as it's now Mission: Breakout!) was themed well, it sucked balls in comparison to the one at HS.  I swear!  The building is creepier and way bigger and more awesome.  The interior lobby scene is similarly elaborate, but the 5th dimension thing is freaking awesome!  Even JK, who stopped going on the DCA version strapped herself into HS ToT twice (with the aid of Dramamine) and raved about it.  

we are the awkward Asians NOT making faces at the camera

After a quick walk around, we then head out to our car to drive to church.  JK's job for the trip (other than providing awesomeness) was to find a church for Sunday service.  She found one that was literally down the street...and ACROSS from Cracker Barrel (she wins!).  It's held a small room at a timeshare resort, and they're very small, but the people there are super nice.  They're from a church in South Carolina so services are held concurrently to the sister church and hymns are sung along with them, with the sound and images being projected on a screen.  

The sermon was short and sweet, and by noon, with my stomach rumbling, we were out and headed to Cracker Barrel.  I hope to be back to visit them next time and hope to see growth there.  The people there are so nice, and though they're very welcoming to all the vacationers, it'd be nice to see them with more stability.

I've never been to Cracker Barrel before, and it's seriously been on my bucket list.  Who wouldn't want to eat deliciously fatty southern food?  AND it's attached to an awesomely kitschy store!  I was excited to try sweet tea as well...I'm pretty sure the sweet tea they have at McDonald's isn't the same thing.  -_-

I was so overwhelmed by the menu I didn't know whether to get breakfast or lunch...but I ended up opting for the sampler since I can get french toast anywhere.  It came with chicken and dumplings, meatloaf, and sugar cured ham.  Going southern all the way, I also got hash brown casserole, mashed potatoes, and cheese grits as my sides.  JK ordered the chicken tenders with fried okra, fries and collard greens, keeping the down south theme alive.

I liked the fried okra, and the hash brown casserole was tasty (why wouldn't it be though?), but the grits were eh.  They weren't good or bad...just bland.  Apparently people love or hate grits, and being weird, I didn't love or hate them - but they could've used more flavor.  Maybe they use this as a palette cleanser down south?  The chicken and dumplings were good, but lumps of dough just aren't dumplings for a Chinese person.  THIS (below) is what dumplings mean to a Chinese person:

So when my chicken and dumplings came with chicken swimming in a pool of gravy with cooked dough, I was confused.  Apparently the white lumps at the front of my plate are what non-Chinese people refer to as dumplings.  Not that they weren't good, I just though it was false advertising.  The meatloaf was tasty too - I've only ever made meatloaf with turkey, so beef meatloaf was a new thing for me.

We waddle out of lunch, and head for Target because we needed more blister patches for JK's poor feet and I wanted snacks because I'm a fat cow.  Being that I only know of one Target there, the one where we went to EVERY DAY at my brother's request our last trip, that's where we drove back to, which was conveniently about a mile down the road.  It's so big.  I have Target envy.

After loading up on water and snacks and more band aids and blister blocks, we head back to the parks.

We used our FP's for Toys Story Mania (their sets are better than ours.  Just saying.  Andy's bedroom, where they loaded us...ahmazing) and Star Tours.  I then grabbed a 4th FP on MDE for The Great Movie Ride.  This was one I really wanted to hit because we missed it last time.  But I have to say, I was a little disappointed.  They have SO MANY FANTASTIC movie properties, and clearly Disney can do incredible theming and detail - but why is this so shabbily done?  The interactive/acting guides stuff was cheesy, but not Jungle Cruise cheesy (= good), it was just...shoddy.  Some of the sets were fun - but I just feel like there was so much potential with the size of the sets and all the movies at Disney's disposal...and it wasn't met.  Yes, it's "hosted" by TCM (which I love by the way, I LURVE old movies), but it just didn't hit the mark.  

I love Indiana Jones, so of course I need a picture of the ark

One of my absolute favorite movies in the world (that I watched over and over and over as a kid) that I own on VHS, DVD, and a digital copy of - is Singin' in the Rain.  Love it.  I'm that crazy annoying person who quotes it while watching the movie.  So of course, I had to snap a picture of fake Gene Kelly (my namesake you know, because my dad's name is Gene) as Don Lockwood in one of the most iconic scenes of any movie.  Even if he looked a little weird and not like Gene Kelly at all.

And of course there's Mary Poppins.  Love!

There was a kind of creepy scene from Aliens, and the munchkin village from Wizard of Oz, and some westerns and stuff...but sadly, most of it was kinda forgettable.

We also hit the two headliner shows at HS, The Voyage of the Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast Live on Stage.  Little Mermaid was actually done pretty okay (well, it wasn't the "extravaganza!" Disney advertised it to be).  It wasn't fantastic or wonderful, but sitting in an air conditioned theater for 15 minutes while listening to Disney music sure doesn't suck.  But B&B, oh Lord...that was so...wrong.  And it was incredibly disappointing since B&B is my favorite Disney cartoon and I love the live version, so I had high hopes for it.  Those hopes weren't just dashed, they were stomped on and farted into oblivion.  The theater was outdoors on hard benches - so it was hot and sweaty and my butt was sore sitting on the bench.  And it was 25 minutes.  Now, I know it's crazy hard to condense this into 25 minutes...but it's literally "after a series of unfortunate events Belle ended up at the Beast's castle."  Um, what??  It was disjointed, the story was weird, and it was so cheesy (and I don't mind cheese to a certain degree, after all, we're at Disney) that I was embarrassed for the actors on stage.  The singing was good - it's not the cast's fault that the producers chopped it up so badly.  The only person who looked like he was having any fun at all was the Gaston guy, because he was soooo over the top and cray cray.  For a park named after movies...their stage shows were...not great.  

One of JK's few requests was to eat at the Brown Derby.  I ended up making an early reservation to accommodate our dessert party, and we had to eat light - but the food there is really good!  Even the salad was good, and I don't even like salad.  However, when at the Brown Derby, you gotta get the cobb salad...I mean, they invented it.  

And because we're grown ups, we got mocktails like real adults.  I think this was the pineapple no-jito, it was super tasty and if it didn't cost like $6, I would've ordered 4 more.  

We got the crab cake, which was so freaking good - full of crab, not fillers and "krab".  

The Duck Two Ways was also fantastic.  I love duck, but I love Cantonese roast duck.  Western duck is usually prepared in a way where it's a little gamey for my taste (not that I won't eat it, I will, I'll just complain about it not being delicious like Sam Woo's roast duck), but the preparation at Brown Derby is really, really, really good.  The server actually recommended it, and we were both really glad to have taken his advice.

Trying to eat "light" (for us), we shared one entree and got 2 appetizers.  We were pleasantly sated without being too full.  Because we still had a dessert party to go to!

Duck Two Way = super tasty and delicious

It's a good thing we weren't too full, because we still had RnRC and ToT to ride again - both of which still fantastically fun.   I'm glad we got to go on both of those multiple times.  

why do we always end up in the same car as super crazy people???

THEN...tada!  It was time to continue to stuff our faces.

The dessert party is held inside the Star Wars Launch Bay, so you could eat, then take photos with Star Wars characters and visit with the Jawas (they were very disappointed we were more interested in frozen nutella than trading with them).  We found a table a little removed from the dessert stations (I wished there was seating, but they were all high tops) and ate.  Even though I didn't eat a lot at dinner (okay, a lot for me) I didn't eat as much dessert as I usually would because I couldn't fit THAT much in.  But what I had was excellent...I actually thought it was better food than the Wishes dessert party @ MK.  

This freeze dried nutella truffle in chocolate and raspberry sauce.  This is crack.

After close to an hour of wandering around (I also took a photo with Kylo Ren to make my brother jealous) we headed for the viewing area.  It's roped off and it's right in front of one of the big projection structure thingys.  There's a portion in the front for those on scooters (as it should be, they shouldn't be stuck behind tall people with kids sitting on their shoulders when they paid for the same dessert party) and we were right behind the scooter people, so we got a pretty good view.  My brother asked me to record it for him, so I did, even though my phone did a crappy job.  By my phone I really mean me, and once again I had to remind myself to watch the pretty fireworks in front of my face, not to try to see it through my tiny phone. 

Instead of sharing with you my crappy shaky video, I give you the awesome one filmed by The DIS in 4K:

As a gift, we also got a funky looking Chewbacca stein.  Um...I don't think I want to drink out of Chewbacca's head, so I think I'm going to bring it to the office and put paperclips or something in it instead.  

As the park was clearing out, so were we.  We caught a tram back to our car (okay, what's up with WDW parking lots not having signs UP ON A POST WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM and instead just painting the stupid section and row on the ground at the END of the row?  How can you find anything?) and headed back to the Waldorf.  And it still smelled like rich people.  We showered, then packed as we were moving hotels the next morning, and fell asleep watching TV.  Because we (JK) are geniuses, we decided to split an order of the continental breakfast through room service (it was like $18, which wasn't bad for being on vacation) so we could eat as we got ready in the morning - so we filled out one of those rich people forms and hung it outside our door.  

The next day, we head to Animal Kingdom, which is my favorite park in WDW.  

We're Going to Disney World! (again)

Saturday - April 29, 2017

It's 6 am and my alarm is blaring.  On a Saturday.  Usually that means bad things - but not on this day!  Because we we're going to Disney World!  And any day where Disney is involved has to be a good day, right?

My best friend JK and I have been talking about doing WDW (Walt Disney World - shortened for lazy people like me) for years and years and years.  Actually, well over a decade, and after I went with my family in December of 2015, we decided the two of us would have our uh...we're-turning-thirty-again-for-the-millionth-time birthdays there (okay fine, our 40th).  Not our actual birthdays (because we weren't born on the same day, and also, those dates are horrible for WDW), but the year when we turn 40 so we could celebrate getting old in style.  You know...Disney style.  Because it's awesome - and nothing says you're fashionable like wearing a polka dot shirt and a rodent hat.

Anyhoo, we (I) ended up being impatient and decided to go THIS year instead, when we're NOT turning 40.  One of the reasons is that my Hilton free night certificates were going to expire in a few months and after finding out that they were also good for Waldorf Astorias, I refused to use them at plain old Hiltons because I'm fancy and was determined to find a Waldorf Astoria to use those certificates on.  Except there were no Waldorfs in California (except for the one in Beverly Hills that joined the family after we booked, but I wouldn't have wanted to use them in B.H anyway)...but there's one in Orlando!  It's located inside Bonnet Creek, which is actually in Disney World, but it's a little pocket of land that Disney doesn't own...so you get the same proximity (it's actually closer than some of Disney's own resorts), but lower prices.  Except at the Waldorf, which I would never pay for because even though I'm fancy, I'm also cheap.

So we decided to go...in late April/early May.  We avoid the Easter/spring break crowds, and go before the summer crowds (and horrendous summer weather) hit.  Genius!

And we go back to it being 6 am on a Saturday.  That part sucks.  But once I was fully conscious and realized it was WDW day, I jumped out of bed and did a little dance no one saw, nor should anyone ever be subject to.  Because our flight was for 9:50 am, we wanted to leave early (by 6:30 preferably) in case the security line sucked balls.  Fortunately, it didn't.  My parents (and dog) dropped JK and I off at United and as we had planned to just carry on our luggage on the way there to save time (we had reservations for the Fireworks Dessert Party that night at Magic Kingdom) when we arrive so we could zip directly to our rental car and to the hotel and the park, I had checked us in online the day before so we already had our mobile boarding passes.  We literally walked into security since both of us have TSA-precheck and within minutes, we were both on our way to the gate.

By gate I mean lounge.  Because my whole family has the United Mileage Explorer card, we each get 2 lounge passes a year.  My parents are both United Gold, so they already get lounge access and don't need the passes, so we always have a few on hand that we usually give to my brother because he travels for work a lot.  But not this time!  I actually get to use it, which would be the first time because I usually travel with my parents and their gold cards allow them to each bring in a guest.  So JK and I make our way to the brand new United Club in terminal seven and have breakfast and chill for awhile before we have to board the plane.

I was too embarrassed to just start randomly taking photos of the lounge, so this is all I got.

Another benefit to having the Explorer card?  (I swear, I'm not getting paid by them, I'm just excited that we actually got to use some of the perks of the card for the first time after having it for so long!)  Priority boarding!  We boarded after the disabled, the babies, those on active duty, and first class people...so we had plenty of overhead bin space for our luggage and we got to settle into our seats and relax when general boarding was a zoo and people were jostling back and forth and trying to squeeze their suitcases overhead.  Nope, we already had our headphones on and were watching our shows.  Because we cool like that.  Yay!

Because I refuse to pay $10 for a boxed lunch of stale nuts and crackers on a flight, JK went to 85­°C the day before and bought us a delicious assortment of breads for the flight.  I also had a few bags of peanut butter M&M's, because protein (that's what I tell myself).

The 5 hour flight to Orlando was packed, but as we (JK) had the foresight to pick two aisle seats across from each other, we both had aisle seats, which is fantastic for me since I have the bladder of an 193 year old woman and have to pee all the time (TMI!).  I watched some Blackish, did some reading, and napped for about an hour.  Then we arrived!

We booked our rental car through Costco (yay for 2nd driver free!) and got Alamo.  I had a horrible experience at the rental counter last time, and because I wanted to avoid it (and save time!) I checked in online beforehand so we could proceed directly to the garage, pick our car, and literally drive it out after they scan the paperwork I printed off online after checking in.  Why have we never done this before?  This is freaking magical!!!

We booked a full size, and after deliberating for a few minutes (JK had no faith in the car of her people, so no Kia or Hyundais), we picked a not-sexy-at-all white Altima and zoomed (or putt-putted) outta there!  It literally went as smooth as possible.  There were NO delays at all.  We rolled our luggage outta the plane, got into a tram, went directly to the garage and zipped out in our car all in under 20 minutes.  Wow!

I ended up driving for the week (I know, I know, crazy) and she was navigator.  We drove 20 minutes to the Waldorf, went directly to our room (yay for online check ins!  My phone was the key!  Technology is magical!  I can't stop typing exclamation marks!), dropped our stuff off and Lyfted our way to The Contemporary.  Because the TTC is evil.  Evil I tell you!   Instead of going to the TTC, then having to wait for, then be packed like sardines on the slow ass ferry to waddle over the fake lake, we just walked the 7 minutes from The Contemporary.  That's it.  The driver dropped us off at the front door, and we just took the path past Bay Lake Tower and arrived at the front gates to The Magic Kingdom 7 minutes later.  SO MUCH BETTER than going through the evil TTC.

We literally walked in, and headed straight for Space Mountain, the first of our fastpasses that we booked that night.  By this time it's after 7.  The dessert party check in was for 7:45 pm for the 9 pm show.  But as we weren't going to eat for a solid hour (even we're not that piggy), we didn't care if we checked in late.  So we head directly for Space Mountain.  Eh.  It's crazy jerky, and not nearly as fun as Disneyland's.  But it's an E-ticket, so we gotta do it!  Fortunately our excitement cushioned the jerkiness of the ride and we also didn't have a wait with the FP.  Once that was done, we headed directly to Tomorrowland Terrace for food.

I don't know why I look like I'm on crack

Ah...food.  The dessert party now has 2 tiers.  When we did it in 2015, everyone was assigned a table on the first level of the Terrace based on when the reservation was made.  About a year ago they decided to be retarded and have seatings be first come first serve.  So to grab one of the few amazing tables for the fireworks viewing, you'd have to wait around for over an hour before the 8 pm check in actually begins.  I don't want to spend money to wait around!  The whole point is to throw money at a problem, not throw money to CREATE a problem.  So we cancelled our Terrace viewing and opted for the cheaper Garden viewing they started doing earlier this year instead.  And since it didn't rain - it was FANTASTIC.  It was a great view (in the old FP area for Wishes), much more centered than the Terrace's view, and we got to stroll into the dessert party whenever we wanted to since seating for the dessert portion didn't affect our view of the fireworks at all.  Seriously, all around win!

clearly we like cheese.  Cheeeeeese...

the first of our many (lopsided) selfies.  My selfie game is not strong, but sadly, it's better than JK's. 

We ate.  And ate.  And ate.  And it was glorious.  And when we had our fill (we didn't want to hate ourselves, just stuff ourselves) we made our way to the garden viewing area.  It was a nice large area with fake grass to sit on.  And we picked an open spot and waited for the show.

I've seen it before, but I swear, no one does fireworks better than Disney.  It's not just pyrotechnics, but the lighting, the music, the semi-story...it tugs at your heartstrings.  I don't know how they do it.  It's like witchcraft.

And as usual, it was amazing.  AH-MAZING.  And because I had filmed it last time and taken a zillion pictures, this time I just sat there and enjoyed it without the aid of my phone.

Because I'm feeling nostalgic about it (Wishes actually ended a week after we left.  Literally, a week after we left), here's an awesome video of the very last show:

After it was over, we hung around in our area (we moved up a bit closer to the railing) to watch Once Upon a Time, the castle projection show they started earlier this year.  The difference between Once Upon a Time and whatever castle projection show they did before Wishes in 2015 is HUGE.  Technology has certainly come a long way when it comes to projection mapping on the castle, and I really liked it.  And because I hadn't seen it before, I felt the need to keep snapping pictures of it, though I reminded myself not to look at my phone, but at the actual ginormous castle in front of my face.  So a lot of my pictures came out blurry because I just kept snapping photos while NOT looking at my phone.

We managed to get same day FP's for Pirates, so we hurriedly went to Buzz Lightyear for a FP ride, then Peter Pan (I had snagged a 10 pm FP for that) - and even with FP at 10 pm, we still waited about 15 minutes, which is why I'm so glad we checked it off our list the first night.  Then we went to Pirates.  Once we exited Pirates it was 11, so we couldn't get in line for rides - but we could still shop!  And eat!

once again, I look like I'm on crack. WHY??!!

And because had been fantasizing about Disney food for so long, we headed to Casey's Corner and shared an order of corn dog nuggets, which are crazy greasy and delicious and just what we needed to end the day.  We wandered from store to store after eating greasy deliciousness to wait out some of the crowds and scoped out some possible souvenirs.  Then we walked the 7 minutes back to The Contemporary, called for a Lyft, and went back to the Waldorf.

The Waldorf is gorgeous.  It also smells incredible.  The two days we were there we would say, "it smells like rich people" every time we entered the lobby.  Because it does.  I don't know what they use to scent the hotel, but I want it.  The bathroom to our standard room was also gorgeous, and we squealed like little girls over the Salvatore Ferragamo toiletries.  We so fancy!!!

a quick snap of the room when we arrived, before we literally threw our stuff down and ran out to catch a Lyft to The Contemporary

Knowing we had an early day the next day, we take turns showering the travel dust off ourselves and go to sleep.  The next day, we head to Hollywood Studios!