Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Horseshoe Bend

Monday - June 1, 2015

We wake up and my first thought is: what am I going to have for breakfast today???

My parents, always worried about the dearth of Asian food (they've expanded their palate in the last 30 years they've been in the States.  In addition to Chinese food, they now also eat Japanese food, Korean food, and now...even Vietnamese food.  See how international they've become?) they always travel with some Chinese food.  They have learned their lesson well.  On our very first Alaskan cruise that was 7 nights long, my parents were so Asian food deprived that my parents went to the EXTRA PAY restaurant onboard the NCL Sun for Japanese food.  My dad, who thinks it's a sin to eat in port when there is plenty of food on a cruise ship actually PAID for miso soup and sushi while on a cruise.  That's how dire their situation was.  

Knowing there's a dearth of Asian restaurants in Page, my mama packed away some rice (for porridge they can make in an electric kettle), noodles (same), and some marinated and pickled veggies they can eat along with the rice when overexposure to burgers make them want to cry.  So for breakfast our first morning, that's what they ate - because the overabundance of red meat the night before made them crave plain white rice.  My mom used her electric kettle and made rice porridge for her and my dad.  I am not a fan of rice porridge unless I'm sick and need something bland, so I toddled my way to Paris to forage for breakfast.  Because it's fake French and we all know the Frenchies make delicious pastries.  So I figure fake French people have to make at least semi delicious pastries.

First I stood in line at La Creperie with my eye on either the Nutella crepe or their cinnamon bun crepe.  After about 5 minutes of the line NOT moving, I realized that I didn't love crepes so much that I would wait like, 20 minutes for it.  Also, I live in Orange County where we have a lot of places that offer crepes, so it's not like this is some kind of deliciousness that will elude me forever if I didn't wait in line for 20 minutes with other tourists.  So I got out of line and walked down the Rue de Paix (why do they think if they stick a "Le" or a "Rue" it makes it super French?  I mean, seriously, Le Burger Brasserie Grille just sounds super duper pretentious.  That extra E at the end of Grille?  That doesn't make it any fancier than a Sizzler yo) and found JJ's Boulangerie.  There was a line out the door - BUT it moved pretty quickly.  I like the way it was set up because it was very clearly marked WHERE in line you're supposed to order, where you're supposed to pay and where you're suppose to pick up your fancy drinks.  And you order at the last of the three long glass cases; the first one held all sorts of savory deliciousness like prosciutto sandwiches (for $10!!!), different quiches (the bacon quiche looked tasty, although bacon is magic and makes everything awesome) and other tasty looking things.  The second case held desserts: they had tiramisu, cheesecake, eclairs, and various tarts - I wanted them all!  Alas, I was there for the last pastry case: breads.  Specifically - croissants.  Because when we went to Paris, we went to the boulangerie (run by real Parisians, not Sue from Alabama, who was super nice) every morning and bought fresh croissants.  And because I'm a gluttonous fat ass, I also got a chocolate twist, which was basically a pain au chocolate that was made into long twisty stick.  Two croissants and a chocolate stick came out to just under $13.  Not cheap, but not horrific either considering the tourist trap we were in - so I happily walked back to my hotel room and chomped on delicious buttery carbs.  Was this as delicious as real French croissants?  No, but it's hella better than a donut shop croissant or Costco's croissants.


display of delicious, delicious carbs.  OMG.

And...bran muffins.  Who's ordering bran muffins when it's next to cinnamon rolls, chocolate chip muffins, and perfectly iced danishes?  Masochists?

I uh, ate my chocolate twist.  And most of a croissant (told you I was a pig) before I though to stick my camera inside my bag to take a photo of my delicious croissant.

A random note.  As I'm walking down the Rue de Paix I see a new (to me anyway) restaurant called Yong Kang Street.  


fake Yong Kang Street across from La Creperie

This excited me for a few reasons: I love food.  Also, Yong Kang Street is a real street in Taipei, Taiwan that's famous for Taiwanese eats - specifically soup dumplings from Din Tai Fung and braised beef noodle soup.  I LOVE soup dumplings.  Because they are delicious and I love all things delicious.  Except for cilantro.  That just tastes like ass to me.  But I was kind of excited about easy access soup dumplings on the Las Vegas Strip...until I saw the prices.  $11.88 for SIX dumplings?  Are they out of their freaking minds?  $13.88 for meatless Dan Dan noodles?  That's highway robbery!  (OMG, I've turned into my father).  On the bright side, it's a lot cleaner and prettier than the food stalls in Taipei...which is pretty much a street market.  But still, clean bathroom or not, I ain't paying $14 for a bowl of $5 noodles.  Because not even I'm not that crazy yet!

Anyhoo, after I stuffed my face as I'm wont to do all the time we finished packing our stuff up and set off for Page.  Before we leave our room, I herd my family together for our first family photo of the trip.  Inside our hotel room, which lemme tell you, is the blandest Vegas hotel room evah.


the Bendi does not look impressed

It's 275 miles from Las Vegas to Page, AZ - and we left at 10:30 am and arrived around 4 pm after stopping once in St. George (which has greatly expanded since we were last there around like, 20 years ago) for In-N-Out.  St. George was about a little less than halfway there, and I knew it was a relatively large city/settlement so there would be a place we could stop for lunch and for my mom and I to switch off driving.  She starts and I finish because she says she has more energy earlier in the day.  So after about 130 miles or so of driving, we drive into St. George on the 15 freeway.  It's a lot larger than I thought, and there were a variety of food choices.  My dad always, always, always picks Arby's if it's available.  It was, but then we saw a sign for In-N-Out and my mama and I overruled my dad. My mom doesn't like burgers.  We've been here over 30 years and she's still not a fan.  However, she does like In-N-Out burgers - it's seriously the ONLY hamburger she'll actually eat.  So we get off the freeway and mosey our way to the shopping center right off the freeway with the In-N-Out - and since it's about 1 pm, it's packed with people.  It was about 90 degrees, and we couldn't leave the Bendi in the car because 1) it's illegal and 2) I didn't want to roast my puppy, so we grabbed one of the outdoor seats.  They have umbrellas for those tables and it actually wasn't bad at all because there was a breeze.  As long as we sat in the shade (and there was plenty for the 3.5 of us), the breeze made being outside not only tolerable, but pretty comfortable as well!  My parents and Bendi staked out our spot (not that people were competing with us for an outdoor table) while I was inside (in the a/c because I'm weak) waiting for our food.  A very nice lady who worked there brought out a tray of cold water for Bendi and he had fun dunking his whole face into the french fry tray lapping up water.  It took awhile because of the crowd, but our food finally came out!  And it was just as delicious and tasty as ever.  I don't know what kind of magic they do, whether it's the kind off cheese they use or the meat or the fact that we get it with grilled onions, but it's just so freaking good.  Ahem.


deliciousness.  I'm so happy we got to have In-N-Out in Utah!

Bendi is happy too

After we eat we drive.  And drive.  Thankfully the time goes by relatively quickly - it's actually a pretty scenic drive and my mom took some photos of the terrain we passed by.  








Around 4 pm, we pull into the parking lot of Days Inn & Suites in Page, Arizona.  Why did we pick Days Inn?  Because they accept dogs.  And they had decent reviews on Tripadvisor and basically for pet friendly accommodations it was between this, some other tiny motel in town, or the Courtyard by Marriott, which was charging hella more for a smaller room.  So Days Inn it was.  The wifi, laundry facility, and free breakfast were also decent selling points.  When we pulled in, we were not disappointed - the place looks pretty new and while our room isn't posh (at all), it's a decent size and pretty comfortable.  The bathroom is kind of no bueno - it's very small and cramped, the towels are thin and scratchy and the lighting inside is very harsh - BUT - the rest of the room was fine.  There's a nice sized mini fridge and microwave in the room - the kitchenette has a small sink so there are two sinks in the room.  The king suite we booked (I busted out my air mattress again as the rollaway I requested never made its way to our room) had a separate living area so that's where I set up my bed whereas my parents took the bedroom.  Two TV's, so mom and dad are happy and we can watch different things - and the best part: we're on the ground floor with a sliding glass door so it's easy to take Bendi out instead of going down multiple staircases or waiting for an elevator and walking far, far away so he could pee.  Also, we could pull our car right up to the sliding glass door to our room and it made unloading so much easier.  When we went out my parents would just exit through the sliding glass door and I'd stay inside to lock it, then exit from the lobby to make sure all of our doors were locked.  They just drove around and picked me up outside the lobby.  I do kind of wish they had some patio furniture for the ground floor rooms like they do for the balcony rooms - there's no place to sit outside!

We unload our car right outside our room and settle in for a break since my butt is still asleep from sitting in a car for so long.


bedroom area with king bed

desk and TV from the bedroom

looking towards living area from bedroom 

tiny living area with kitchenette

TV in living area - with me in the corner.  Hello!

My mom decides we should eat dinner first and then see if we're up for hiking to Horseshoe Bend to catch the sunset.  So she performs culinary mom magic and has dinner on the table in like, 20 minutes.  No joke.


Bendi looking at dad, "when can we eat?  Why are we taking more pictures?"

salmon, mustard greens, wok'd beef (no, we didn't bring a wok with us, she made it at home), and marinated roast beef

rice porridge.  (in our awesome electric kettle from the Korean market,  You could actually COOK in this kettle!)

So we eat.  Although I wasn't very hungry since I ate half my bag of trail mix while "resting" earlier.




 By resting, it means I was sitting on my butt stuffing my face while surfing the internet.  But we finish up dinner, clean up, and all get ready to head out a mile down the road to see Horseshoe Bend.  I thought the turnout would be hard to find but maybe because I was expecting it, I thought it was pretty well marked and there were two buses and lots of cars parked in the dirt lot.  It's only a 3/4 mile hike, but it's steeper than I thought - and though it wasn't bad, a lot of it was in the sand which made it not only more strenuous, but a pain in the ass because sand got in our shoes and socks!  The good thing is that the sand is so fine there that it didn't rub any of us raw, but it still wasn't the best feeling though it was tolerable.  Bendi had a blast, I haven't taken him to the beach yet so he's never walked on sand.  He got soooo dirty but he had so much fun.  He kept tugging on his leash the whole time because he thought we were too slow.  Also, stupid Bendi took a big poop right when we started hiking, and there's no trash receptacles, so my poor dad was holding his bag of poop the whole way there.  And the whole way back.  And he couldn't throw it out until we got back to our motel. 















There are a lot of people there, more than I thought there would be, and there were actually lots of real photographers with their tripods staking out their spot.  I'm not even an amateur.  I'm a crappy point and shooter with my phone 90% of the time, and even though there are a gazillion photos of Horseshoe on the internets, I wanted my own photo of it dammit!  

But man, it's harder than I thought!  First of all, you've got to find a vantage point that shows the entire bend, which isn't as easy as I thought since there are photographers already stationed everywhere.  Also, you're facing the sun during sunset so there's the big ass ball of fire in the sky messing with the photo so it looks like the horseshoe is wearing a dayglo hat.



There were better spots where you could take photos without the rock outcroppings interfering with the river bend, but 1) I was too scared to get close to the edge since there are no railings and I'm afraid of height and 2) those photographers with their fancy tripods were awfully territorial over their spots.  So I just found a place not too far from the edge that I could sit and at least see most of it.  

Before that though, we walked around and took photos with just the rocks, because we didn't want to get too close to the edge, especially with a small hyper dog.













our mandatory awkward selfie

I took a lot my pics of my dad that I like, except for the fact that he's carrying a bag of Bendi poop in all of them:






Then the sun came down low enough for me to try to take photos again



And being me, of course I had to stick my big fat feet in the photo to say "I'm here!".  Though it's not like anyone else could tell whose wearing those old ass Adidas sneakers that look like big ol muffins.





And while dad is trying to capture the scene with his camera phone, mom and I go a little further away from the ledge and take selfies because we're awesome.  Awesomely awkward.




And you can see dad behind us taking photos on his phone.





Then dad and I take turns playing photographer for each other.  Neither of us are very good :(








do you see how he made us walk ALL the way towards him?  He doesn't know how to use the zoom.  



At around 7:30, we start hiking back towards our car.  Bendi was still super hyper with a lot of energy and I ended up taking the leash because my mama's arm was tired.  I feel like the hike back is a bit more strenuous than the hike there because there's more climbing on the way back, but it wasn't too bad.  We went back to our hotel, got some gas for the next day, and vegged out for the rest of the night watching TV, playing on the internet, reading, and eating snacks.  

Bendi had a very long day.  He looked like this around 9:




I downloaded our photos and organized them, and around midnight, I looked like Bendi too.

The next day, we go to Antelope Canyon!  

Monday, June 1, 2015

Hello Antelope Canyon! But before that...Vegas baby!

Sunday - May 31, 2015

So...a few months ago my mama was perusing her Facebook feed when she saw a picture of this:

Antelope Canyon (photo from the internets)

For those who don't know, this is Antelope Canyon - located in Arizona on Navajo land not far from Utah.  And only (according to Google Maps) a 5 hour drive from Vegas, which is only a three and a half hour drive from home.  Hmm...

My mama then showed my dad this picture and they agreed that since this is so close, we should totally go and visit.  This was in February.  My parents were in Taiwan the months of March and April, and by that time, all the hotels (dog friendly hotels that didn't look scary on Tripadvisor) were booked up, so we ended up booking for the first week of June.  And since it's on the way and I refused to drive 9 hours at once because I am not a crazy masochist, we opted to spend the first night in Vegas, drive to Page, Arizona and stay for two nights - then drive back to Vegas, and stay for two nights because 1) I must have time to eat the world (i.e a buffet.  Mmm...) and 2) I must have time to spa.  Also, I wanted to see Zarkana, the only  Cirque show on the strip I haven't seen yet (well, I also haven't watched Zumanity, but that's not a show I'm ever going to watch with my mama.  I wanted to go into the bathroom to hide during the (relatively tame) love scene when we watched Shakespeare In Love together so there ain't no way I'm watching a circus show that simulates coitus with my mama) and since we're staying at the Vdara (yay for hotels who lurve dogs.  Boo for hotels that charge you through the nose for them!) and it's playing at the Aria next door, it's convenient!

Anyhoo, because it's Sunday, we went to church in the morning first.  We packed up our car the night before and so we could hop onto the freeway right when Sunday service was over and then head over to Vegas.  We figured we'd hit Vegas around 3:30-4pm...yeah...that didn't happen.

Anyway, look who was in a good mood and ready to start our road trip!  (when is he never in a good mood though?  He's always, always smiling.)  






So we drive.  And drive.  And we get on the 15 and we hate life.  Because not only were there TWO traffic accidents on the 15 on a Sunday afternoon, the freeway is also under pretty heavy construction and what's usually a 4-5 lane freeway ends up being reduced to two lanes.  So we totally hate life.  According to Google Maps and Sigalert, our delay was for 90 minutes.  And they were right (sob!).  What really sucked was we couldn't even get off the freeway to avoid the jam.  There was no. way. out.  We were trapped (sobbing again!).  

After driving for an hour and 24 minutes...




we looked at the odometer and realized we've only traveled NINETEEN miles.  Why 19 instead of 31.6?  Because it's TWELVE miles to church, so in the hour and twenty four minutes since we left church on our way to Vegas, we've only traveled NINETEEN MILES.  (I'm still sobbing on the inside.  It was so bad).


pardon the dust!

Even thought I wanted to punch myself in the face, you know who was still in a good mood?  I'll give you one guess:


clearly it was not dad

Like I said, incapable of NOT smiling.

Then, after the 90 minutes of wasted time I will never get back, when the traffic started clearing there was a "crossover" section of the freeway.  Being a FOB, I had no idea what the hell that was supposed to mean...until I saw that part of OUR traffic was on the OTHER SIDE OF THE FREEWAY.  Huh.  You learn something new everyday. 




And so we drive.  And when my mama decided she was tired and it was my turn to drive, it was ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DEGREES.  I opened the car door and thought I'd stepped into an oven.  This was no bueno.  And because of how no bueno it was, we opted not to pee there because we being roasted in a roadside bathroom is not exactly how we envision our vacation starting.


see? no lie

Alas, after mucho hours of driving that we were not expecting, we finally made it to our destination: Bally's Las Vegas.

Now, we've been to Vegas probably like, a hundred times.  Seriously.  But we've never been to Bally's before.  I hate to admit it, but even though I'm a TOTAL cheap ass, I'm kind of a hotel snob.  BUT - we only planned to stay one night in Vegas, and since we had no plans for Sunday night other than grab dinner and get a good night's sleep, I didn't want to spend the $280/nt Delano was asking for if I wasn't even going to properly enjoy the room and property, so I looked for the cheapest hotel that would let me bring Bendi in without having to smuggle him into the hotel stuffed in a backpack.  And Bally's was it.  We got a king bed petstay room for about $130 for Sunday night, and since I'm being super cheap, I even brought my air mattress (a necessity since we could only book ourselves a king suite in Page as all the rooms with two queen beds were sold out) up to the room instead of paying $25 for the rollaway.  Because bitches, cheap is how I roll.  Unless it's with someone else's money.  Then I'm all about extravagance.  

Other than self parking being in China (okay, I lie, it's in Paris.  And that's no lie.  Self parking is actually in Paris, you have to go from Paris to Bally's) and check in being a pain in the ass (they insisted on seeing Bendi to make sure he's not over 50 pounds, and that wasn't as easy since my dad had taken him out for a walk after the long car ride and I had to stand to the side with all my luggage watching everyone else check in while they refused to check me in without seeing Bendi) - it wasn't so bad.  (we're not going to talk about the melt down the three of us had when certain somebodies *cough*dad*cough* refused to answer their phone which snowballed into us all freaking out and yelling  at each other about picking up the FREAKING PHONE.)

Our room number?  



No joke.  We really got assigned room 777.  Good omen?  Well...considering I lost about $11 at the stupid slot machine in some stupid dinky casino while waiting for dinner, I'm thinking our room number did not bring me any luck.

But the room was actually very nice: it was about 450 square feet, and since it's only one king bed, the room was large and spacious.  It really doesn't photograph well, but the furniture was clean, as was the carpeting and the bathrooms (I was afraid I'd end up finding weird and suspicious stains, but to my relief did not) and it was actually a very pleasant and comfortable room.  It's not opulent, plush, or amazing by any means, but it's a very nice room.  Even though the bathroom wasn't fancy with its own soaking tub and water closet making it bigger than my house a la The Venetian, it was pretty spacious.  The water pressure (always important) was decent and we were all pleasantly surprised.  




what's the first thing we set up/out?  Bendi's bed.  Clearly we have priorities in this family.  Dog first.

So we didn't really have a Strip view.  After all, we were in the Indigo Tower, which appears to be one of the older towers.  But we could still see some hotels out of the dirty ass window.






And of course, Bendi had WAY TOO MUCH fun exploring the room.  He discovered mirrored closets!  I don't have mirrors in my house low enough for him to look at himself, so he was intrigued by these mirrored closets.

look at him admiring himself.  He's probably thinking, "that's one good looking dog in a very dapper yellow vest right there"



Before our vacation, I of course started googling around for places to eat.  I figured we'd likely eat somewhere in Paris since there appears to be a dearth of deliciousness in Bally's, but in my research I stumbled onto Ellis Island.  It's a teeny tiny local casino about a block away from Bally's (and thus the Strip) on Koval, and they're super famous with the locals because of their food: I got a prime rib dinner (no joke, real prime rib) for $14.99.  And people, it was pretty damn good.  I would say it's just a teeny tiny cut below Lawry's.  And the ENTIRE MEAL (including soup or salad AND homemade root beer - or their microbrew beers) was $14.99.  Where else on God's green earth are you going to find a delicious prime rib dinner for that price?  That's about how much I spend on a burger at B.J's.  And that doesn't even come with iced tea (sob!).  They also had a sirloin steak special: if you join their membership club and play about $5, you get $2 off their off-the-menu steak special: 10oz sirloin with green beans and potatoes and a beer (or root beer) for $9.99 instead of $11.99.  That also comes with a soup or salad.  Let's just say that we were very, very, very full.  So full I committed a horrible sin: I left most of my mashed potatoes on my plate because I just couldn't eat anymore!  Oh, the travesty - carbs should never be wasted, but I was having the meat sweats and just couldn't hang anymore.  My mom isn't into big ass slabs of red meat, so she got the shrimp scampi with linguini.  She was less than impressed, but she's also a picky eater.  I thought it tasted pretty good, but as I was preoccupied with my big slab of meat, my dad ended up eating her dinner.  He had opted for the sirloin and I opted for the prime rib, and we had decided we were going to split both steaks in half so we could both have sirloin AND prime rib because we are pigs who lurve cow.  He ate half of my prime rib and her whole dinner.  HE had about a bite of his sirloin and he said he couldn't do it anymore.  Instead of throwing it out (and he said he wasn't going to eat leftover steak the next day) we decided to just slice it up and bring it back in a doggy bag for Bendi.  My mom didn't want him eating the grilled char marks, so she actually ended up eating the well done portions of the steak (outside) and she sliced the rest up into small pieces for Bendi to snack on.  I ate my half of the prime rib AND half of his steak AND some green beans and some mashed potatoes.  I was thisclose to hating myself.  But it was sooo good.  And SOOOOO cheap.  My mama, she ended up eating all of my dad's steak fries (she's a big fan of fries), his green beans, and some of my mashed potatoes.  Our entrees came with soup, so she had the chicken noodle (I got the same, it was really freaking good, and I'm not even a fan of soup) and she ended up leaving pretty full herself.  Basically, her dinner was a bunch of sides and a few bites of my dad's steak.  But she enjoyed the soup and liked the fries and the mashed potatoes.  So for about $40, we were very well fed.  




 I had intended to walk over to the Linq Promenade or whatever it is they call themselves to the new Sprinkles to buy some cupcakes for dessert.  But because I was suffering from the meat sweats and food coma, I couldn't do anything except to walk back to our hotel and collapse.  The walk there around 7 was in broad daylight.  The walk back was around 9pm and it was already dark.  As we're walking through the intersection of Koval and Flamingo all I could think was "this is where Tupac was shot" (though not where he died) and sadly, there were some homeless guys wandering around there too.  My mom was kind of freaked out by all the homeless people and we felt better after we crossed Koval and there were lots of tourists walking around by us.  As we were about to enter Bally's through their sports book entrance on the side, we see the "dog park".  Indeed, it is a "dog park" in quotation marks because a real dog park consists of more than some astroturf dumped onto a cement sidewalk.  It was just sad.




Bendi was very happy to see us.  He was even happier to see this:




see how attentive he is?

Bendi then had a dinner fit for a king.  Or a very, very, very spoiled little dog.  He was in a very good mood afterwards.  Because of the long drive, mom and dad opted to go to bed pretty early - it was lights out by 11pm.  I was fooling around online and looked over to see this:





Somebody was goofing off in their carrier.  Alas, the long day caught up with me by midnight and I felt the need to crash.  So I did.  And thus ends our first day - at Bally's after a rocking cheapo dinner and a scary walk back to our hotel.  

The next day, we're going to Arizona!  by way of Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Arizona, Utah, and finally Arizona again.