Hello Colombia!

Sunday - December 10, 2017

Good morning Cartagena!

What did I know about Colombia?  Other than there are lots of drug lords there...yeah, that's about it.  Oh, and Gloria from Modern Family is from Colombia.  The end.  Literally.

But I liked Colombia (at least Cartegena) so much more than I thought I would!  Cartagena was built by the Spaniards, so it had a very European flavor, yet the city outside the old walls was incredibly modern.  We booked the 90 minute historic tour through Segway Cartagena for $70/pp, and because we love segways, and I love history, I was excited about this excursion.  Grace and Ed had never been on segways before, and my mama was excited to introduce them to the joys of being lazy on a machine.

We met in the buffet for breakfast, and as we dined, we could see the city pass by on our way to the port.

The port at Cartagena took forever to get through!  After getting off the ship, you board a little shuttle that like, takes you 1/4 of a mile.  Then you walk through a long ass maze of animal exhibits and shops and all sorts of stuff before you actually exit the port.  It probably takes a slower walker about 30 minutes to get OUT.  Cesar (from Segway Cartagena) had arranged for a driver to pick us up at the port and to drop us off (I think it ended up being $5/pp each way) and he waited outside the port.  Once we exited, we looked for him, and we were INUNDATED by drivers and guides trying to pimp their businesses.  They were actually pretty aggressive and were following us, but I told my people to just ignore them, say no thank you, and keep moving.  The driver finally found us (we rolled over with 2 other parties) and had my name typed out big on his tablet as his "sign" and we got going.  The ride over to the office was short, and soon, we were outfitted with helmets and were being given lessons on the segway.

Because the three of us have already been on segways multiple times, we went last.  Grace was apprehensive getting on one at first, but she did great.  So did Ed.

\

Then we got going.  I actually really liked the tour - Cesar (went to school in the States and travels during low tourist season in Colombia) spoke excellent English, was easygoing and friendly, and gave really good historical and cultural information.  I think I was the only one in our party really appreciating the info as my mom just likes to ride segways.

We went to the historical center of Cartagena and saw the Teatro Heredia, as well as a fantastic (and classic - apparently) view down the street towards the Cartagena Cathedral (officially the Metropolitan Cathedral Basilica of Saint Catherine of Alexandria).  

Teatro Heredia

Zipping around a city is always fun - and though this was the old walled city, there were still cars - but I thought they did a pretty good job of directing traffic and keeping the cars from hitting us.  Cesar's assistant (I can't remember his name, and he smiled and nodded a lot because he couldn't speak English) rode this unicycle segway (really!) and zipped around to make sure we were okay.

We headed to Proclamation Square where we saw street performers, and stood outside the Cathedral because it was in the middle of a multi-year renovation/preservation.  Apparently most of Plaza de la Proclamacion is under renovation.  The building across from the church was also behind walls. 

So we turn and look at the outside of the Cathedral!

Something fascinating about the construction?  It's made of coral limestone!  You can see the imprints of coral!

We move across the (small) street to the Plaza Bolivar.

Where we need to take an awesomely bad selfie.  Because that's what we do on vacation!

Cesar saw our bad selfie, and came over and took a photo of us.  But not before Ed wandered off!

And we rode around the city more.

And we visited the Santo Domingo Church, the oldest church in Colombia and we went inside for a bit.  

dad was very hot and tired.  It was SOOO hot and humid!

Then we looked at the nekkid lady sculpture (La Gordita de Botero) in Plaza Santo Domingo, because everyone else was.

After Plaza Santo Domingo, we rode up to the old city walls.  

We had to ride our segways up a ramp, so you had to accelerate going up.  That was the easy part. Going down the same steep ramp was harder, because you had to learn to control your speed.  I was cautious, but we all got off the ramp without hurting ourselves. 

From the walls we head over to the Plaza de San Pedro Claver.  

The church is beautiful, though we didn't have time to go inside.  

We then rode to the old port, where we saw the Customs Door.

This was the direct connect to the port - the trade gate, and it was through this door all the slaves  (and other imports) were walked off the ships onto land. 😔

I think this was the old administrative center of the city - where the old harbor and the customs house was and it's now where the mayor's office is located.  Now it's pretty much just a huge plaza for city events.  They call it Plaza de la Aduana, in English it's Customs Plaza.  

So, a bad thing happened in Colombia.  My mom fell off her segway.  And when I say fell off, I mean she hit the tire of the car with her segway and she flew into the air and landed on her back on the ground.  It was a no bueno way to end a lovely day on a fun and interesting tour.

Here's the thing about my mom: she can't multi-task.  She has problems with divided attention.  And when we were being assigned segways, she made my dad switch with her because his segway looked newer, but it was definitely bigger.  Even though she's been on segways multiple times and has never fallen, I honestly don't know if it's because it was city streets and she was distracted or she's just getting older - but she clipped the tires of a car TWICE.  The first time she just stumbled off her segway and my dad jumped off his to help her.  She was fine, but I told her to be more careful.  About 20 minutes later she DID THE SAME THING AGAIN, but at a much higher speed - and she flew off of her segway.  I was right behind her and when I saw she was getting too close to the parked car on her left, I was yelling at her to be careful.  It was too late, she hit the tire and flew. 

I was both scared and annoyed and mad at her - she had already clipped a car tire and I told her she needed to watch where she was going, but she still didn't.  She considered flying on a segway the equivalent of walking - where she didn't have to be as cautious about the space around her.  A segway is a MOTOR VEHICLE, and must be handled as such - you treat it the way you would when driving a car.  She landed on her back, which thankfully had a backpack on it.  She was also wearing a helmet.  She hurt her arm (the one she broke 5 months before), scraped up that same arm pretty badly, and knocked the wind out of herself.  She ended up being in pain for the next week or so, and had icy hots and other pain relief patches slapped on her back, arm and chest - but praise the Lord, she ended up being fine.  Bruised, scraped up, hurt her arm again - but it could've been so much worse.

She sucked it up though, and rode the segway back to the offices where they put a bandage on her arm where it was bleeding.   On the way back, another guy fell off his segway, but it wasn't a bad fall and he just scraped up his leg.

After paying for the tour, we boarded the taxi van back to the port.  We had anticipated spending time looking at all the animals and exhibits when we returned, but my mom was in pain and none of us were in the mood for that.  We did take a few pictures though.  

she's smiling, but you can tell by how she's holding her wrist that her arm is hurting her.

a view of our ship on the walk back

And of course, once we get back on the ship, we go to the buffet to eat.  But first, we ALL showered and got rid of our deet and sweat drenched clothes.  Oh, did I not go into our mosquito protocol?  Because none of use wanted to get malaria or yellow fever or the zika virus, we full on deeted.  I purchased outdoors deet wipes for hunters or something from Amazon.  We went to TOWN, AND we wore mosquito repellent bracelets/anklets.    After spending hours in the city sweating, we were a crazy stinky hot mess.   On the bright side?  None of us got bitten!

But mom was in pain, and after showering, we gave her some pain killers and slapped bandages, antibiotic creams and pain patches on her while she rested in bed.  Dad and I ate and brought her a plate with soup, bread rolls and fruit.  She needed to eat, but she didn't want anything heavy, so bread and soup it was.

hello neighbor!

We were all exhausted from the day's endeavors, and it was Sunday, which meant they broadcasted THREE NFL games.  While mom rested, dad and I watched NFL games ALL DAY.  Grace and Ed were tired too, so we all spent the day just lazing away.  Dad and I shuffled up to the buffet at dinner time for a quick meal, and brought another plate of food down for mom.  Grace gave us some of her pain patches for mom.  

After mom and dad went to bed I put up my little curtain and continued to watch TV.  Then, because I'm retarded like that, I took a bunch of photos of my space.  So I can remember it?  I don't care, I'm sharing it so the 3 minutes I spent taking photos were not in vain!

We all went to bed relatively early because the highlight, and purpose, of the trip was the next day!  We were going to go through the Panama Canal, and I had read that you had to get up hella early to grab a spot at the front of the ship to watch us enter the locks.  So I set my alarm to 6 am and went to sleep.

Next: the Panama Canal!

Another Day of Eating

Saturday - December 9, 2017

There actually aren't a whole lotta photos of this day.  And I also don't have a lot to write about...because...vacation.  I literally did nothing all day but eat and loll around.  And I was so lazy that I only took one measly super crappy photo at lunch.  Though I did take pictures of all the things at dinner.  Why?  Because we ate at Sabatini's  - one of the specialty (extra pay) restaurants on board.  And we did it because 1) we had a CRAP TON of on board credit and 2) we couldn't get reservations for dinner until 8 pm, and none of my people wanted to wait that long, so we opted to just eat at 6 at the Italian restaurant instead.  

I literally spent the day being so lazy that the only pictures I took were these:

Which means I spent hours on the balcony reading and playing games on my tablet.  Not a bad way to spend the day, eh?

The one photos I took at lunch????  "meatloaf"

I love me some meatloaf.  I seriously do.  This was...not meatloaf.  It was like an extra thick slice of bologna smothered in a sweet sauce.  It was...not awesome.  I can't say gross, but it just was not delicious.  I don't remember what else I ate, but this was the most un-meatloaf meatloaf I've ever had.  And I'm Chinese.

The only thing I remember about that day was going to afternoon tea.  I LOVE afternoon tea.  I love the little scones, cups and saucers, tiny desserts, all of it!  This was not that.  It was in one of the main dining rooms, they seat you at a table full of strangers, and there are no choices for teas.  They pour you a cup of tea, and waiters go around with little trays and baskets with little sandwiches, little scones, and little cakes (like what you get at the buffet upstairs) to offer to you and all you have is a little bread plate.  It's a nice little snack, and there's a string quartet in there...but it's not afternoon tea.  It was something I'd been looking forward to, but being it was so underwhelming (and I could get the same snacks at the coffee bar right outside or upstairs in the buffet) that we didn't do it again.  It was so underwhelming that I didn't take photos of it at all!  But we did get seated at a table full of Chinese people!  (and there were sooooo many Chinese people on this ship)  Maybe they thought we all knew each other?  Because you know, all Chinese people, all 1.5 billion of us, know each other?  

NONE of us remember what else we did on our second day at sea....which means it must have been a fantastic lazy person's day.  Because the next photos we have are...

stretchy pants and a loose tunic for the win for dinner!  Doesn't dad look super excited to be on vacation?

The restaurant is beautiful.  And pretty empty.  I think the entire 3 hours we were in there we were only one of 4 or 5 tables.  

hello delicious breadsticks!

look at these beautiful plates!  They take them away and you don't eat on them, but so pretty!

the chef sent this charcuterie plate out to us.  It's unfortunate that I'm the only one who likes cured meats, but none of us would eat the olives.  I don't do olives.  I consider them the lying grapes.  Because I ate one at a birthday party in 1987 thinking it was a grape and it traumatized the hell out of me.  So yes, I've held a grudge for 30 years.

We started off with some antipasti.  None of us got real antipasti - we were just fat asses who wanted to eat all the courses.

calamari fritti (delicious!  The batter was light and delicately crispy and the calamari was tender instead of chewy and overcooked)

I got the burrata.  Or as they call it, Burrata alla Panna con Capaccio di Pomodori.  The English translation is hand-formed cow's milk cheese with creamy lava center on tomato capaccio, balsamic syrup.  Okay.  That's just a fancy way of saying soft yummy cheese with tomatoes and oil and vinegar.

shrimp with  beans.  Or as they call it, Insalata di Gamberi, Finocchi e Canellini, which is marinated shrimp, shaved fennel and white beans, white truffle oil.   I think my mom only ate the shrimp on it.  

For the pasta course, we ALL go the exact same thing: Spaghetti allo Scoglio, which is langostino, diver scallops, tiger shrimp, vongoles and black mussels in cherry tomato sauce.  It was tasty, though a bit tart.  Nothing that a sprinkle of sugar couldn't fix though.

And because we are uncreative, for our main courses (Secondi Piatti), we ALL got the fanciest thing we could see.  LOBSTER.  THREE.  WAYS.  Tris d'Aragosta - lobster tail, lobster orzotto and lobster bisque sauce.  It was sooooo tasty.  And sooooo rich.  My mom couldn't finish her orzotto, which was just like risotto.  So I ate a chunk of hers too.  

For dessert I got the fancy chocolate thingy our waitress (first trip on the Island Princess from another ship!) recommended as fantastic.  It was, but being ALL chocolate, it was also super rich.  

Grace got the napolean one, which she really liked.

I'm pretty sure I was in a food coma by the end of dinner.  And it was like, 9 pm.  Because dinner was about 3 hours.  Which for impatient Chinese eaters was like, 11.04583 hours of dinner.  I was full and lazy (I'm never not lazy) and toddled back to the room to shower and veg, because we had to get up early the next morning for our first excursion.  I don't remember if my parents went to one of the (old peeps) bars to listen to music (from the 60's.  Music wise, this was my dad's dream cruise), but I'm pretty sure I showered and sprawled on the couch to watch tv before bed.  

Tomorrow, we visit Colombia!

The First Sea Day

Friday - December 8, 2018

Today is the first of two glorious sea days.  I LURVE sea days.  I get to sleep in, I get to putter around all day, eat as fast or as slow as I want, and since there's nowhere I have to be, I'm in a completely relaxed frame of mind.

I wake up from my surprisingly comfortable bed (seriously - it's a full sized twin size bed, if that makes sense.  The mattress was thick and firm, my blankets were generously sized enough to be comfortable, and it was SOOOO much better than the crappy sofabed at the Marriott). 

My dad always gets up super early.  He's just an early riser - and once he's up, he wants breakfast.  So he woke up my mom...way too early on vacation...so they could go and get breakfast.  He's codependent and can't hang by himself, he always makes my mom eat with him.  By the time I wake up, they were gone, and as I got ready for the day (packing my tote with my kindle, tablet (has my magazines and movies and shows downloaded on it) and my phone (games) along with a bottle of water and a cardigan), they came back.  I moseyed my way to the buffet by myself.  Unlike my dad, I can eat alone.  In fact, there are a lot of days I prefer it.  I get to eat at my own speed, and do so with no judgment from anyone else looking at the immense amount of food on my plate while reading a good book.  As an antisocial introvert, it's the best!

Princess' buffet is miles beyond what we had on Norwegian during our last trip.  The bacon was never soggy and weird, but always crisp - they always had tater tots, and their breakfast sandwiches with fried eggs and cheese were so good.  Basically, it was an egg mcmuffin...but with a fried egg!  I just stuffed that puppy with some bacon and I was in food nirvana.

I find a quiet table off to one side of the buffet and settle in and have a lovely breakfast accompanied by my kindle.  I literally fantasize about mornings like this - sleep in, eat lots of delicious food without having to make conversation while reading a good book, and just mosey around all day napping and reading and eating.  Best!

After being stuffed from breakfast, I head to the indoor pool (Lotus Pool), which is my favorite place on ANY ship.  You get to sit in the shade or in the sun...but you also get air conditioning!  Winning!  Also, indoor loungers are always way nicer than outdoor ones, and it's so. much. quieter.

I find a shaded lounger facing the water - perfect.  And I read.  Then play games on my tablet.  Then I read more.  I'm pretty sure I ended up falling asleep for awhile too.  That's okay, because half the people at the Lotus Pool are just napping.  

I was so full from breakfast (and I ate it so late) that I snacked my way through the day without actually really doing a sit down lunch.  And because the line for dinner the night before for 5 pm was so long, we called and made a reservation this time.  So we had an early dinner at 5 pm.  

Because I'm dumb and didn't take a picture of the menu, I can't remember these dishes - but this is what we ate:

something fried!

something not fried!  It looks like scallops in a citrus dressing

Okay, Grace had this.  Those little balls were just dough.  She was...not impressed

dad's shrimp cocktail.  That he had EVERY DAY.

I'm pretty sure I got this - I think it was some kind of chilled cherry soup

this one I remember!  Grace got the pulled pork.  She liked it.

mom got the fish.  I don't think she was thrilled

Dad, Ed and I got the NY Strip.  It wasn't as good as the prime rib, but I remember it being pretty tasty.

our waiter was awesome - and he even took a (poorly lit) photo of us!

I had read that since the Island Princess had been butchered (😢) and they added waaay more cabins but took away public space to do so, the theater gets super full and to show up WELL before showtime to even be able to find a seat.  So right after dinner, we hauled ass to the theater to see On the Bayou.  We got there a good half hour before the show, but it was filling up quickly, and we ended up towards the front and off to the side because everything else was full at this point.  We were just lucky to grab seats together.  Even 15-20 minute before the show people were milling around trying to find single seats, and there were always rows of people standing in the back of the theater to watch the shows.  We learned to grab our tablets/books/phones and head to the theater 45 minutes to an hour ahead of showtime and just sit.  

this man is totally ruining my shot of the stage!  He just stood there and wouldn't sit down because he was saving seats for his party -_-

The show was awesome.  There were 4 main singers - two males and two females - a bass, a tenor, an alto and a soprano.  3 of the 4 were awesome.  The soprano was an Asian female (I think she was a Filipina) and while her voice was good overall, she didn't have a lot of power behind it and she came off a little...reedy sometimes?  She was drowned out by the other three who had phenomenal voices and she was at a disadvantage.  But the show was great.  The great thing about this cruise?  They had songs my parents knew.  My dad had THE BEST TIME.  The dancers were fantastic - so was the production value.  They really put on excellent shows.  So we made sure to make time for each one and didn't miss any of them.

After the show we went back to our rooms.  I'm a homebody.  And I'm lazy.  There wasn't anything scheduled that I wanted to do, so I just wanted to shower and relax in the cabin - maybe read, watch sports or a movie, and play some games.  I clearly live a very exciting life.  Even on a cruise.

Because I opted to sleep on pullman, the seating area was left intact, and my dad and I would sit under my bed to watch sports together - like it was a clubhouse 😄.  It was actually cozy and awesome.  We'd stick our feet up on the chair or the table, eat snacks at yell at the TV, because we had ESPN and there were live sports on every night.  Bliss!

My mama is not into sports at all, so she was on the other side of the room watching whatever shows or movies were playing on other channels.  Princess did a really good job with the entertainment - there were a variety of shows and movies for everyone, as well as ALL the news channels.  Because I wanted some privacy I had put up curtains for my side of the cabin at night (I took them down every morning because I'm not that weird).  This also served as a buffer for my mom so if she wanted to sleep while we were watching football or basketball, it wasn't too bright - though it was still loud.

Do you admire my $8 shower curtain from Amazon along with magnetic hooks I stuck on the ceiling?  It wasn't entirely opaque, but it gave me a sense of privacy, and as an introvert, this was sorely needed.  I didn't want or need to be isolated, just enough space for some time to myself, and my parents are very good about not just barging over to my side of the room when the curtain was up, so even though we stayed in one room, it never felt crowded. 

Meanwhile, while I'm admiring my cheapo curtain and taking photos of it, my dad is still watching TV on the couch under my bed.

And that's how our first sea day ended.  I'm pretty sure my parents ended up napping the day away (I think my mom was still exhausted from Thanksgiving) while I napped, ate, and read my day away.  And ending it with sports and then some HGTV while falling asleep too?  PERFECT sea day.