Finally. FINALLY it's here's...a day off. I'm desperate for it the way a man crawling across the desert is for water. The way an addict is for the next hit. The way a fat man is for chocolate cake. Literally, from the time we left LA we have not stopped. Not that I regret any of the things we did or saw - but man, a body (especially an old broken down one like mine) needs a break. A real break. So I did what any self-respecting person does when they need a break. I sat on my ass. All. Day. And it was soooo awesome. (sigh). When you're tired/stressed/tense/breaking down - there's no better cure than a sea day. Because you can't do anything even if you wanted to. The day is built for relaxation and we all sorely needed it. I don't think I can convey just how happy I was to crawl to Tuesday. And I mean crawl.
I don't even remember what time I woke up. Why? Because I had nowhere to go and nothing I had to do. I can't remember the last time I had a day like that. Wait. No, I actually do. It was on my last cruise during a sea day. Anyhoo, I sleep like the dead and wake up late morning. When I wake up my parents are already out and about the ship. So I get up, step out onto the balcony and look at the wake of the ship and the sunny weather and think that it's perfect pool weather. Then I look at the clock - holy crap, it's like, 10:30. Why is this bad? Because the Windjammer is shutting down to get ready for lunch! Sob! Well, I can always go to Johnny Rockets or Cafe Promenade for breakfast, so I pull on my crappy hang by the pool clothes and slather on sunscreen. Then my parents walk into the room bearing gifts. The best gifts ever - the gift of food. My parents brought me breakfast! Yay! Can my morning get better? They got me coffee, eggs over easy, hash browns, bacon, a croissant and pastries. Mmmm...delicious, delicious pastries. So I sit in my cabin facing the sea while I eat my breakfast. Once done, I decide to go and stake out a seat.
Sea days are always no bueno when it comes to trying to find a lounge by the pool. There are kids running around and loud party music playing at the main pool (where the sight of so many banana hammocks on old saggy men with man boobs traumatizes my retinas) and since screaming kids are not my idea of a good time, I head for the solarium. I lurve the solarium. No one under the age of 16 is allowed. They have their own bar, and it's a much smaller and intimate space with one large pool and 2 hot tubs. It's filled with potted trees everywhere and has both loungers in the sun and in the shade. All the ones in the sun are taken, but I spot a prime one that faces the ocean and throw myself on it. With my sunglasses, beach towels, and kindle I'm ready to while away my morning reading my trashy chick lit book that I've been saving for vacation. Ahhh...this is the good life.
I alternately read and stare out at the ocean in front of me. Also, in this position I feel a little hidden away since I'm not facing the crowd. After awhile I lay my lounger down and take a nap like many people are doing. When I wake up, I spot a lounge in the sun and I drag my stuff and move to it to begin my efforts to look like a peasant (you know, tan). More and more people are getting in the pool and my eyes are seriously scarred for life. But hey, more power to you if you want to work it and have fun. There were lots of women - old women - who were rocking some bikinis. Not only bikinis, but thong bikinis. Europeans man - they love to rock the thongs and the speedos. None of these are attractive looks. The only people who should wear speedos are people who look like this:
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| the Australian Olympic swim team btw |
Unfortunately, I saw what looked like this instead (shuddering)
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| the gross ugly old delusional dudes team. No, I am not exaggerating. This was what was hanging at the pool. |
And ladies, unless you're built like Gisele, you really should be rocking some bottoms that cover the booty when you're in public. Ass cellulite should always be a private matter.
Anyway, I laid out and tried to tan. I sorta did - I burned. But that's okay, the pink will eventually become brown. Then I got hungry, so I went to the buffet which was located conveniently close to the pool. As I wander around trying to debate whether I wanted to sit at a table by myself or grab one of the bar seats, I see my parents. Yay! So I go and plop my stuff down at their table and grab food and eat with them. They've whiled the morning away relaxing as well, but I kind of wonder if they'd be more inclined to participate in all the games and activities if they had them in Chinese. Maybe next time we're in Asia we could do a quick cruise on Star Cruises? I've heard those are all Chinese with even Chinese food in the dining rooms. I don't go to the games because I'm antisocial, but I feel kind of bad that they don't feel like they have that option. Despite that, they seem happy enough.
Since we've got all this on board credit, I decide to splurge and do dinner that night in Portofino, their extra pay Italian restaurant ($20 pp). Also, I purchase an internet package so I can 1) download new kindle books and 2) surf the web in my room. Also, my dad is obsessed with the internet. I'm not sure why since I don't think he really knows his way around, but he's obsessed with it anyway. And with an internet package, we can all access the wifi on the ship - and fortunately for us, since our room is literally right beneath a hot spot, we can hop on the wifi network from our room and balcony.
I make reservations for 6:15 pm for dinner since that's what's available, and spend the rest of the day hanging on the balcony (hopping between the 2 lounge chairs depending on if I'm in the mood for sun or shade), playing on my computer, and then getting some quiet reading done in the library, a place I end up really liking because they have the most magically comfortable couches ever. There's a line of recliners in front of the floor to ceiling windows that face the stories high centrum and it's a great way to people watch. There are also lots of books in assorted languages and wonderful ambient lighting for reading and relaxing. I've always had an affinity for libraries (something about the way they feel and smell) and I was glad Navigator had a good one. Not many people found their way there, so if I wanted some quiet time, it was a great place to slip off to.
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| library with the comfiest couches ever |
When it's about 5, I go back to our cabin and shower since my hair looks like ass. It's technically formal night, but since we're not planning on going to the main dining room, we don't have to dress up. Portofino has a "casually dressy" dress code. I don't know enough about haute couture to decipher that, so I throw on a dress, a cardigan and sandals. We dressed the way we generally would for dinner at a nice restaurant, but not in formal night attire which consists of cocktail dresses. It's also not uncommon to see floor length gowns and tuxes on formal nights - people go all out like it's the prom. It's actually fun to see what people are wearing.
Portofino is actually located just inside the windjammer, but with its own entrance. The ambiance is refined but comfortable. It's hard to make an Italian restaurant snooty. They use brightly colored sheer panels as room dividers which somehow give the entire area warmth - and though almost all the tables are full soon after we're seated, conversation never rose above a low buzz. What I really liked about it though was that even though it was apparent this was a very nice restaurant (I'd put it on par with Mastro's - this ain't your neighborhood Olive Garden) with impeccable service, divine food, and an extensive wine list, it wasn't snooty. I hate snooty restaurants - I'm always tempted to tell them to take the stick out of their butt. The manager (who took my reservation) and our waiter were both very welcoming and friendly. Our waiter was awesome - he was funny but also informative, able to describe each dish and make recommendations with specificity. Not just "it's good", but able to say "it's good because..." He was attentive without being overbearing and made excellent recommendations that we all enjoyed.
Once we ordered, he set our bread selections down in front of us. I talked my mama into trying olive oil with balsamic vinegar as a dip, but she thought the vinegar was too pungent and didn't like it. They provided us with olive tapenade, roasted red pepper dip, and roasted garlic. I didn't like the tapenade because I don't like olives, but the other two were good.
For our appetizer we all opted for the risotto with tiger prawns because we are mindless lemmings. I know it had a super fancy name in Italian, but I can't remember what it was. Whatever. Our waiter said this was his favorite of all the appetizers so we all ordered it. It's hard to explain what risotto is to a Chinese person, the closest I could come to it is telling my parents this was white people congee with shrimp. Regardless, they enjoyed it and we all cleaned our plates and I was actually really proud of my parents for trying something new. Italian food has flavor profiles that are not displeasing to the Asian palate so I figured correctly that my parents were able to enjoy Italian food whereas they may not have enjoyed the steak house across the way.
For our entrees we all chose something different. My mom chose the seafood skewer, which included lobster, scallops, fish, shrimp and other assorted delicious things cooked on a skewer. It came out in a skewer and our waiter removed it from the skewer and plated it for us. It was kind of cool to watch. Also, it was delicious. I know because I stole some off my mama's plate.
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| seafood skewer. soooo goood... |
My dad opted for the lamb chops. I don't like lamb (I know, a meat I don't like, whodathunk?) and my mom doesn't eat it either, so we never have it at home. My dad on the other hand really likes lamb but since he doesn't know how to cook, he rarely ever gets to have it - only when I take him out for white people food. Once he saw it on the menu and our waiter recommended it, he was sold. According to him, it was delicious. Perfectly cooked, perfectly tender and bursting with flavor. I'll take his word for it. He kept trying to get me to try it, but since my traumatic introduction to lamb (my uncle's horrible, horrible lamb stew that still haunts me today) I won't eat it. No matter who cooks it or how well they do it - it tastes too pungent and gamey to me and I just can't enjoy it.
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| dad's lamb chops |
That's why I got the gigantor t-bone. GIGANTOR. Now this is man sized meat. Mmm...meat...my dad's like, WTH, you can't finish that. Taking affront to this challenge to my masculinity (femininity?), I try to prove him wrong. And I almost do. I ate most of it, but just couldn't finish (sob!). Dear Lord, forgive me for wasting delicious, delicious steak (sniff).
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| my gigantor Flintsone sized t-bone. mmmm... |
But there's always room for dessert! And their desserts are sublime. Since I can't make up my mind, I go with the Portofino sampler and so does my mama. My dad just orders a cappuccino. These are extra money coffee drinks, and they are worth every penny because they're delicious. The coffee elsewhere on the ship tastes like ass. This tastes divine. I sob because I want more.
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| They just brought this out to us. I guess every table gets this? I dunno - but it was tasty :) |
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| (from top left in clockwise direction) berries with cream, tiramisu, panna cotta, and chocolate molten cake |
The desserts are all amazing and replete, I lean back into my chair and slide into food coma. After we sit around finishing our coffee and discussing our plans for the next day, we go back to our rooms to change into comfy clothes (although an awful lot of people pranced around the entire evening in their formal wear). We took some photos on the balcony as we watched the sunset. When we return to our room - we get another surprise.
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| rocking my sunglasses yo |
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| we do love our awkward self-portraits, don't we? |
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| not a bad way to end the day, eh? |
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| and of course you need one facing the room |
The funny thing about my dad? He loves going to shows on cruise ships. Usually dragging him to something (other than sport events, and even then he bitches and moans just to make a point. The point that spending money is unacceptable) is a big production and he lectures and drones on ad nauseum about how I shouldn't waste money and we have a TV for a reason. Yadda, yadda, yadda. But on cruise ships, he eagerly scours the cruise compass each night it's delivered for shows he can take my mama to watch. On formal night, they had a quartet of singers performing. I can't remember their name for the life of me, but I really enjoyed them - they were 4 guys, a Spaniard, 2 Brits, and I think an Italian. They did everything from Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody a capella (love!) to Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban, and even motown. The show was a lot of fun and they were actually very good.
After the show ended, our cruise director made some announcements. One of them being that it was going to be about 90 degrees Fahrenheit the next day in Ephesus. This is no bueno. Like I said, I only brought one tank top. Ahhhh! So I immediately headed for the shops in the promenade to buy another tank. Yeah...most of the stuff they were selling either had Royal Caribbean emblazoned on it in sequins or they were for chicks who like Hello Kitty on their chests. None of which appealed to me. AHHHH. I finally found a plain black tank top that was neither too skanky nor too cute. Do you know how hard it is to find a plain old tank top that's either not bejeweled or all blinged out on a cruise ship? OMG.
So after I make my purchase, I went back to the cabin while my mama went to the casino to make friends with the slot machine. I suppose I could've gone to the disco...but uh, I don't disco. And I don't like being squashed with a bunch of sweaty people I don't know. And I'm antisocial and hate most people. So I went back to the room, sat on the balcony a little more (it's amazing how clear the sky is out in the middle of the ocean) and then went to bed as the next day was going to be a long, hot, tiring and grueling day. Can't wait!
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